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Does anyone know if they will give me meds right away?

(11 Posts)
LilyC121 Sun 31-Jul-16 16:51:40

Hi this is my second thread just thought better I make one for this question.

I have a 17 week old baby so I don't want them to put this down to pnd as I'm sure it's not as I've felt like this for years just never been to doctors because I was scared but I'm at that point where now I have to.

I am not depressed. I have a family history of bipolar and I'm pretty sure I have it. I am manic, my head is running 100 miles faster than my body and I'm over thinking everything. I just want to end these feelings and thoughts and I'm beginning to feel more and more like suicide is the only way out of this.

I plan to go docs tomorrow. I don't know if they will take me seriously and just say they think it's baby blues because if I tell them about how I've felt like this for ages but just haven't been, will they believe me? Will they give me my medication straight away as I know a diagnosis can take a long time but I feel I just need meds ASAP I don't have time to wait and wait I've wasted to much time already sad

bearleftmonkeyright Sun 31-Jul-16 16:54:09

Just read, commenting to keep it live. Somebody will help. I have no experience of this but I think there may be a way of getting you help sooner. Good luck op xx

bearleftmonkeyright Sun 31-Jul-16 16:59:39

Still here holding your hand op flowers.

TheNotoriousPMT Sun 31-Jul-16 17:02:03

PND can be a serious illness - even if the doctor thinks it is that, they will help you.

Make a list of all the symptoms that are bothering you so you don't forget while you're in there.

flowers

bearleftmonkeyright Sun 31-Jul-16 17:02:48

Just read your other thread. You have been treated very badly by your a & e department. Have you got anyone with you?

PaperdollCartoon Sun 31-Jul-16 17:08:15

You can definitely try to make it clear that this isn't the first time you've had an episode like this, perhaps you could say that now you have a baby you realise the need to ask for help when you haven't before.

If you're manic and at risk they can give you something to calm you. Some medication takes a while to kick in and others are more instant. I suggest writing down as much as you can to take with you as it can be hard to remember everything you need to say in the moment flowers

LilyC121 Sun 31-Jul-16 17:22:34

In fact the entire reason I got pregnant (2 years ago) was due to this. I was acting reckless. I was having unprotected sex with a guy I wasn't even serious with and I knew wouldn't make a good dad. I just wanted to be pregnant to feel something and give me a reason not to commit suicide and get better. But it didn't work out. I guess you could say I did the same this time I got pregnant. But obviously I don't want to tell the doctor that. I love my babies even though the circumstances weren't ideal and I did it for myself and they are well looked after I would never put them in a position where they where not even if that meant letting family members care for them (my auntie has my son currently as I just want to be alone in a dark room)

I was raped when I was 13 by my 13 year old friends 24 year old boyfriend and I believe this is how it all started, my emotions feelings and wanting to feel something. I haven't told anyone about this though but I do believe it was the start sad

bearleftmonkeyright Sun 31-Jul-16 17:32:48

sad. You need and deserve support to be mentally well.

dangermouseisace Sun 31-Jul-16 18:17:21

it may be that you don't have bipolar- impossible to diagnose yourself plus the fact that it started from the unfortunate event of being raped what you're going through could be due to trauma. So don't feel that you have to be treated for bipolar or you won't improve, although you do have a higher risk of having it. The meds for bipolar have pretty severe side effects so they'd want to rule out other diagnoses first. It is possible to have racing thoughts/reckless behaviour with other diagnoses. Don't feel bad about having unprotected sex with someone who wasn't ideal father material…I know people that did that who don't have any MH problems at all and got pregnant!!

Your doc will take you seriously though- what you are going through IS serious. If your mind is running really fast/you are feeling suicidal they will be very likely to give you something and/or get you some support. I'd hope they'd be looking to get some support in place ASAP xx

mrgrouper Sun 31-Jul-16 19:00:58

You really need to be referred to a perinatal psychiatrist. It sounds more like post natal psychosis than depression. I spent 2 months in a mother and baby ward and a few ladies had that there.

LilyC121 Sun 31-Jul-16 19:07:35

Thanks for your replies. I really do not feel I have anything related to having a baby. I know everyone has to take my word for this but it has been happening years (more so in the last 2) but everything that I've done and how I've behaved proves it. My biggest tear it being labeld as having post natal depression and getting put on anti depresents because I really don't think they will help me. I have truly felt like this years. Even my mum has said "I always knew you wasn't right". I have been self harming since before the baby was born. Also I am not sure on post partum psychosis (just what I've seen in eastenders) but I don't have any psychotic type symptoms like seeing things.

I know I might not have bipolar but it is likely. My dad has it and is an alcoholic because of it. His sister had it, spent 7 months in a mental hospital now is married with kids and medicated doing well good career which gives me some hope and my grandad committed suicide because of it, he actually had electric therapy (or something similar) because of it.

I'm just lost. I desperately need to go to the doctors but I'm so scared they will dismiss it or try label me as having pnd and give me regular anti depresents which won't work I'm sure of it. All they have is my word that I've been feeling like this for years as I've never been. Just feel I'm at the end now. Either that or I'm going to end up going in sounding so crazy that they section me

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