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I hate myself and I'm angry all the time, please help?

(6 Posts)
MarbleFox Sun 24-Jul-16 22:04:09

Now that I've sat down to write this, I feel completely lost. I don't know where to start. First things first, I should mention I have Borderline Personality Disorder but I really don't think that's what's causing me to be so angry. I've seen a therapist in the past and still take medication, I've also enlisted self-help tips I've learned over the years and adjusted my lifestyle as a way of manging my illness. I'm not depressed, unhappy or stressed.
I also have social anxiety, I've admittedly self diagnosed which perhaps isn't great but I'm definitely lacking in social skills and confidence. I think that's where the problem is rooted! I think I'm projecting my insecurities onto others in an angry and jealous way. I wake up angry and go to sleep angry. I find myself becoming aggressive (verbally, never physically nor do I have the urge to hit someone) during harmless discussions and I often verbally lash out at people for no reason.
For so long I hated myself. I hated who I was as a person, the way I looked, the way I felt and thought. I've slowly started to like myself again, I'm more accepting of the way I look but I've yet to like WHO I am again. I think I'll remain angry until I learn to like myself and stop projecting my negativity and insecurities.
I used to run three times a week and was thinking of taking it back up along with a mindfulness app to combat the anger, do you think that would be any good? How do I learn to like who I am? Any suggestions are welcome, sorry for any stray typos and thank you for listening to my ramblings!
(Happy to answer any unanswered questions as well)

MarbleFox Sun 24-Jul-16 22:12:04

Bump.

Mightymorphinmultiplemummy Sun 24-Jul-16 22:35:25

Hey no one answered you, defo get running again, endorphins are good xx

dangermouseisace Mon 25-Jul-16 06:56:38

mindfulness is definitely good for controlling anger…I started it when the kids were small and it just made me so much more patient, and able to respond AFTER I'd thought rather than flying off the handle -note to self remember to start meditating again-

running is also brilliant. I know lots of runners, and most of us say that not running makes us grumpy.

Go for both OP it's brilliant that you are so self aware and self motivated to make positive changes! Wishing you all the very best of luck in your endeavours!

MarbleFox Mon 25-Jul-16 16:15:04

Thank you for the replies smile
I downloaded the mindfulness app this morning and found it surprisingly engaging and easy to follow, I definitely felt calmer and happier afterward. I'm just back from a long walk with my dog and I'm currently planning a healthy dinner. I feel better already but definitely need to keep up everything as a sort of routine.

Margo3791 Mon 25-Jul-16 17:08:07

Marble, I know this may sounds cliché, but what was the relationship with your mother and father like?

Did you suffer any major loss or emotional or physical abuse when you were young? The answer to anger, fear and insecurities is usually rooted in the way we grew up and in the environment around us when we were children and young adults.

I know exercise and meditation will help but dealing with the root of the problem will help you transform that anger into more productive emotions, and stop repressing it.

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