OCD, need help to find what is normal please

[Butterflyfriend]

Hello,

I will try and make a long story short. I had a difficult childhood with a mother who told me I was lazy and messy and she wished she had never had me. Nothing I ever did was good enough for her. I left home at 17 and after a couple of years moved in with a boyfriend. After a year or so together he started to insist the house was kept clean, meals cooked, laundry done or he would become abusive. First emotional, then eventually he was violent.
That was 15 years ago, I left him when I got pregnant and had a very happy 5 years as a single parent before I met my lovely DH. I have now been married for 10 years and have 2 more DC.
But I am still spending hours cleaning everyday trying to keep the house in order and now I have been diagnosed with OCD. I think that although I kind of know that DH would never hurt me, I have to keep the place tidy in case he gets angry with me.
While I am waiting for referrals to go through the doctor suggested trying to resist the urge to clean, but I just don't know what is normal. I am alone in the house, dh at work, kids at school, it is reasonable to tidy away the breakfast things, make the beds, clean the bathrooms, sweep the floors etc. Or is it not, where do I draw the line? I would normally now spend at least 2 hours just tidying before I go to work.

I would really appreciate some perspective! Thanks

[Dolphinsanddinosaurs]

That is really difficult to answer, as "normal" covers such a huge range. I would say there is only a problem if you are cleaning so much, that it is stopping you doing other things that you need or want to be doing. If that is the case, can you give yourself a set time to clean, and then do something else. An hour to do the jobs you listed maybe, then stop and do something else?