Is it PND? One year on????

[picklesandmac]

Hi

I have a DS (2.9) and a DS (1.0), the past couple of months I have been gradually feeling worse. Tearful, sad and hopeless. No interest in sex, no interest in anything much. I do have some good days, where things feel bright and cheery, but on the whole I seem unable to pull myself up. My sleep is poor and I can't get enough, I feel like I could sleep all day and all night. I hate the way I look now and have such low confidence, making new friends is really hard (true friends whose shoulder you can cry on without feeling like a useless pathetic whingebag).

We moved when DS2 was 5m old to a totally new area far away from friends and family and I am now a SAHM. I have little help with the boys and find myself exhausted at the end of every day.

I am getting angry with them all the time and things are just escalating to the point where I sometimes feel like walking out.

Is this just a tired worn out mum? I have no-one to talk to, my relationship with my parents has always been stilted and I have lost touch with most of my old 'mates' now. I don't really have anyone to talk to and I just want to know if I am 'normal'. DH useless, he just tells me to get a grip and get on with it.

Is anyone else feeling like this??

[jabberwocky]

I think it is certainly a possibility. If not PND, then at least run-of-the-mill depression. I would take these concerns to your GP. Zoloft was wonderful for me. I didn't start it until ds1 was 6 months old.

[picklesandmac]

Thanks,

I think I will talk it through with GP. Can't go on feeling like this.
x

[jabberwocky]

You might also consider a visit home sometime in the near future, too. It sounds like you could use some time withyour family.

[picklesandmac]

Going back this weekend, but to be honest, that fills me with dread.

Whilst my mum helps with the kids, I get so wound up with the way she does things, I end up feeling more exhausted by the time I come home. Silly I know. I should just let her get on with it, but she lets my 2.9 year old get away with absolute murder and I spend the next week, trying to regain some control.

I am going to try to find some time to catch up with friends whilst I am down this time however, I think talking to them may help.

Thanks again for your support.

[marimum]

Hi
I realise that I may be late in joining your conversation, but I have been feeling much the same way for a while now. My lil one is 19 months and I try to stay upbeat for her but it is hard. I have also found it very difficult to make mum friends locally. I don't drive and this puts me at a disadvantage. I also work. I don't know whether I should try pills...although after watching Richard and Judy this morning I am considering it. Picklesandmac don't worry...you aren't alone at all. I am sorry that I can't give any more advice than that...but if you want to talk/...or want to tell me to shut up!!!

[Rodeo]

I've been feeling the same too recently, my dd2 is now 15 months. Much of the original post could have been written by me - in fact I logged on to post something similar. IIRC I felt the same when dd1 and ds were around 1ish. I think I will go to the doctor after reading this, hope we start feeling better soon Pickles and Marimum

[marimum]

thanks Rodeo. You are the first posting that I have had back from this site that makes me feel better.

[jabberwocky]

Definitely go in to the doc. Life gets sooo much better on AD's

pickles, I hope time with your friends is helpful, too. It's too bad that your mum is like that. I know what you mean!

[Baysmum]

Hi i should probably change my name here but cant be arsed! I too could have written your thread Rodeo and my boy is 18mnths. I also moved to a new area and just thought it was normal to feel down as i didnt know anyone etc but this has gone on so long and isnt right. Often feel like running away and leaving my son and his dad to get on with it together rather than me dragging them down. To amke matters worse, am pg again so cant even take ADs - see, it could be worse!! Hope you are feeling ok. This prob hasnt helped at all, sorry.

[picklesandmac]

Thank you so much for posting everyone. It has made me feel so much better knowing that I am not the only one feeling this way.

I really hope you all feel better soon. Having had my weekend back at home, I am booking a GP appt first thing tomorrow to go and talk it all through. Marimum, let me know how you go and if you decide to see doc too. Baysmum, I really feel for you, its exhausting when you are pg with a toddler, that must be so hard for you. Makes me put things in perspective. Rodeo, let us know if you get to the docs too. Hugs to you all xx

[marimum]

haven't been to the doc's yet. I still feel very lonely. I love being with my little one but I am tired and just can't be bubbly which is what she wants. Not sure tablets could help with this. I am taking stuff called fluxodil (is that right? From Holland and Barrett) that has helped some. JUst can't be me anymore and it is making me be less nice to be around.

[bakedpotato]

this might help clarify things a bit.

Hope you all get some answers soon.

[marimum]

It has. Thanks Bakedpotato. Sorry for moaning earlier. Am justhaving one of those days.

[linjasmom]

Hey Picklesandmac, sorry you are feeling lousy. I heard that women often get some kind of mild depression (not PND) about 9-12 months after birth. That might be it (I experienced that and it did not last too long, especially after I knew what it was, I was oK). Another thing might be your thyroid or just your hormones. That can result in tiredness, feeling useless, not interest in sex/anything and so on. Maybe you could have a blood test done? Hope you feel better soon, big hugs!!

[pinkbubble]

I really really sympathise with you, I had a terrible few years of depression after having DD3. Im fine now!!!!! I would honestly go to your Dr and also go and see your Health Visitor. My HV put me in contact with a wonderful organisation called Home Start. You can only access this organisation if you have children under the age of 5(which you have!!) Basically a volunteer comes to your house once a week for a couple of hrs and spends time with you and your children. It is more about friendship, getting out and meeting other people (they even have a family group you can go to once a week). I would certainly think about it.

[picklesandmac]

Thanks for all your support. I went to the docs last Friday, but I had a 'funny turn' on Thursday night and ended up talking about that. Was in floods of tears at the docs, but couldn't get the words out about how I was feeling inside. Doc did not seem to pick up on my inner sadness and just talked about various tests he wants to do. I feel terrible now, sitting here thinking, 'why didn't I say.....'. I think inside, its hard for me to own up to how I am feeling, I used to work in the area of mental health, so should know better, but somehow its like a block inside, almost refusing to admit it to myself. I have the same trouble trying to talk about how I am feeling to DH, he just doesn't understand and wants to analyse everything, there has to be a reason for everything in his world, and I just don't have the words to describe why......