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Mental health

MH, divorce and residency

5 replies

MilicentKing · 07/07/2016 05:21

A friend (who also happens to be a GP) is urging me to tell my own GP about my dark, dark days.
I am already on ADs, he's aware of the effect my divorce is having on my MH.

I am concerned that if I tell him, it might trigger a cascade of intervention that may effect residency of my son. Does anyone have any experience?

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MilicentKing · 07/07/2016 15:32

Anyone? I am seeing my GP tomorrow.

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KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 07/07/2016 17:26

You won't get intervention or lose your child because you're depressed. Your GP would only pass on details if you were at imminent risk of harming your child.

Much better to speak to your GP and get yourself some help. I'm also sure that your friend wouldn't be encouraging you to get help if they didn't think you need it, or if they knew it could cause you problems.

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dangermouseisace · 07/07/2016 21:55

I separated/was going through a divorce when I had a severe depressive episode and ended up in hospital. Ex had to look after the kids for a while. Prior to hospital there had been no other intervention with regards kids but because of that children's social services got involved etc, and obviously ex husband knew something serious was up, he wouldn't have had a clue otherwise. Ex then started being quite horrible about the whole situation and said he was going to go for custody of the kids. However, consultant, social workers etc were all supportive of them living with me most of the time as although I was having MH problems I was engaging with services, taking my medication, and the children were never at risk (I had only made plans for when the kids were with their dad).

So the short answer is- as long as you don't pose a risk to your children there shouldn't be a problem. If you are managed in the community there is unlikely to be any social work intervention unless they are concerned about the kids. And even if there is (e.g. they are concerned about kids/you end up in hospital), they are likely to support a return to normal routines e.g. your son living with you rather than a change in residency, as long as you are able to meet your sons basic needs, as it would be damaging to both your son and yourself.

Are you getting any support from your ex looking after your son?

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MilicentKing · 07/07/2016 23:57

Thank you both, very helpful.

STBX is still in the home. We are yet to even start talking about residency.

I am a risk only to myself, not my children - well obviously if I harm myself that harms my children, but they are physically safe.

My depression is entirely down to my current situation and I have accepted help, though with EA it can be hard ("oh he's not hitting you, that's ok then") and has, I think, made my depression worse.

I am ok right now, but things may well get worse and my friend thinks I should have something in place in case I have a crisis.

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MilicentKing · 08/07/2016 16:56

Well, I didn't tell my GP the whole truth about how I've been feeling, just bits. He wanted to increase my AD dose. I declined. I can't face the side effects again.

Got home and received a blow with things moving forward. A delay.

I just don't know if I can do it any more.

I'm on the waiting list for counselling. 5 months to wait...well maybe only 4 now. They said they'd call every 28 days to see if there has been any change. They didn't, and that makes me feel shit - like they don't really care. Well, why should they. They don't know me at all.