Anxiety and depression

[Fuzzywuzzywasabear]

Posting on here to hopefully get more traffic than the antenatal/postnatal board.

I have been suffering from really bad anxiety and depression since the start of my pregnancy, we had ivf in order to conceive and it started then and has gotten worse over the weeks and months.

I have a huge amount of guilt about conceiving so easily through ivf, on our first cycle I feel like we didn't try hard enough or long enough before the ivf that we could have done more and people are judging my anxiety and depression. Who I'm I to feel this way when I've had it so easy compared to so many other women on their 3rd/4th or 5th cycles.

We've had our antenatal classes recently but I struggled with the situation a room full of new people and shut off not really talking and engaging with anyone, I did try to explain as I felt that they'd all think I was rude and stuck up but now I feel like a tit for whining about being depressed and like they just think it's an excuse or me being melodramatic.

Our pct has cut funding for mental health services so I'm sat on a waiting list, waiting for cbt which neither my gp or midwife believe I will have access to before baby is born.

I feel like a complete failure, a terrible malingering whale and I'm so fed up of myself. Not sure why I'm posting really I just need to get it out somewhere I suppose?

[qazxc]

I have no concrete advice but didn't want to read and run. Just know that you are not alone.

[justalittlelemondrizzle]

I didnt want to read and run. Why do you feel guilty about it being a success first time around. One round of ivf is hard enough but thankfully all it takes in alot of cases. Don't feel bad, most people don't even have to go through what you did when trying to conceive. I don't think a woman who conceived naturally would feel guilty because people need ivf and they managed it without.
I don't have anything to add about the ither part of your post as if I knew the answers I wouldn't be looking on this board myself. I hope your appointment comes through soon but in the mean time focus on your baby and get excited. You're allowed to be happy about this