What else can i do ??

[Loobie]

What would happen if i went to to my HV and told her i was seriously thinking of driving the car off a bridge with myself and the 3 kids in it? Would she immediatly want to take them away from me?
I suffer from depression have done on and off since ds1 was born 11 years ago,am on a double odse of anti-d's which dont seem to be making any difference.DS1 has severe autism and dd is showing traits with a sleep disorder and speech disorder too,i have NO family support whatsoever ihave 2 close friends who are both going througf major life upheavels at the moment,i am a single parent the kids dad is 300 miles away but aware of the whole situation but says theres nothign he can do.So i basically have absolutely no one to turn to,the only thing stopping me doing anything is the fact there is no one for my kids so the only other thing i can do is take them with me,but if i go to he hv to say this will she take my kids away?? I just dont know what else to do or where to turn to,i only really have the HV but dont want to say this toher in case she takies the kdis away then i would og myself

[springgreens]

Loobie, is it your son's autism that makes you depressed? I too have a son with ASD and feel utterly hopeless at the moment...don't feel like I have a bond with my child and am terrified about the future.I'm a single parent too.

I think that you need to be really honest with your Health Visitor so that the professionals know that you are at crisis point and can try to help.

Am thinking of you

[ivelostmyboobsboohoo]

oh loobie, poor poor you, i have absolutely every sympathy for you. i think you absolutely Must go and talk to your HV. she wont take your kids off you. it will make people aware of how serious this situation is for you and she will be able to access services and support for you.

i felt like this myself back in april last year and couldnt see a way out. after finally breaking down to hv, i was given loads of support for me and the kids and i could say what i liked and noone ever suggested taking the kids away. although they offered me free respite (i have 2 with an asd plus a dd too). now incidentally things are much much better and although i still get down periods i can now see it coming and have learnt some strategies to help me cope.

i am so so worried about you. promise me you will go and talk to someone, even phoning the samaritans as a first point of call.
i dont know much about antidepressants i'm afraid as i refused to take mine but perhaps you could talk to your doctor again about other options available to you.

please please please get help as soon as you can and dont do anything silly.

[henrybaba]

I read your message and couldn't not reply. I am afraid I have no experience of any of what you are going through so I can't even begin to understand what it must be like but what I do know is that your children love you.
I can only agree with the other people who have responded and strongly you speak to your HV and are really honest.
I am thinking about you and wishing I could give you a hug and do more to help x

[flimflam]

I would think they would do everything to keep you all together. You are clearly crying for help and taking your children away is not any kind of help that I can see. I'm sorry I cannot be of more help but I would say that talking it over with a HV is the first step.

Good luck and keep posting on here. x

[Loobie]

Thank you for your replies,i have spent the day with a friend and had lunch together with her and the kids,unfortunately she has a dh feeling very much like i do myself so i dont want to lean on her too much but just being wiht someone today has ben a saving grace,will try to get to see the HV tomorrow and let her know things are bad again.

DS1 autism isnt so much a huge issue but he has been really difficult the last couple of days in school and at home and we had a major crisis yesterday with school and then the dentist where he hurt himself and tried to throw himself down stairs,all this has probably been enough to tip me over the edge a bit more than usual.He is also due his annual review which we have to make decisions about secondary schooling and stuff for him on the 29th january.DD has to haev a review also on the 26 th of january to decide what is to happen regards her and her difficulties so i cna see my stress levels continue to rise as i face these on my own.

[moondog]

Loobie,do your children have an SW?
I work with children with SN (many autisitc) and they all do.The SW accompanies them to reviews.
Also,do you have a Special Needs HV or/and an Advisory Project?

I really think you need to spell things out loud and clear to your GP or HV.

So sorry you are having such a bad time.

[Loobie]

My ds1 is on the social work register as he gets 4 hours respite a week but doesnt have a named social worker,we havent seen one for years since he started in the autism unit and have certianly never had one come with us to any reviews.

[moondog]

Special Needs HV?
There should be one.Ask and insisit on support.

[saintmaybe]

Where are you, Loobie? Is the National autistic Society active near you? They might have advice about access to respite care or some other support. One of my dcs is autistic and I know how crap and desperate I get some days, with a lot more support around me than you have.
Agree with springgreens, you're only going to get any help if you're honest about really needing it.
How are you today? {{hugs}}

[ivelostmyboobsboohoo]

how are you today loobie?

[springgreens]

HOw are you doing Loobie? Has your mood lifted at all?