Is this a normal age thing or am I depressed?

[PhyllisDietrichson]

I'm an insomniac and feel tired all the time
I have had 2 jobs in 4 years, neither's worked out
I feel anxious that: I'm not good enough - good enough wife, mother, friend, person
I don't know where my life is going
I have no libido at all
I'm much less sociable
I crave the outdoors spending time with my dog is preferable to people.

BTW I'm turning 50 and going through the 'change'.

[pippistrelle]

Hello Phyllis.

I think the key things are whether these are significant changes from your usual self and, if so, how long they've been going on. I think they could all be related to menopause either physically or psychologically. Dealing with some of the physical issues could certainly help with the psychological aspects. A lack of proper sleep can have an impact on all areas of life so I would certainly try to tackle that first. You could see your GP but think about your 'sleep hygiene' in the meantime. A routine is helpful, and all that stuff about relaxing baths, no screens in the bedroom sounds like cliche but things often become cliche because there's truth in them. Sorry if you've already done all those things already, and in that case, seeing your GP and describing all your symptoms is a must.

Best of luck.

[Ancienchateau]

I'd say those are all things that can be related to the menopause. I'm a bit younger and possibly peri-menopausal and tick most of those boxes. However I do know where my life is going because I have made drastic changes to ensure I don't spiral in the gloom (have history of depression). Can you set yourself some goals/challenges? Otherwise I recommend seeing your GP to see what they can advise.

[PhyllisDietrichson]

Hi pippi and Ancien
HRT has helped with the old sleep. I do feel a bit drugged in the mornings, but it's definitely a positive. I am very different to how I used to be: enthusiastic, carefree, funny. But I don't think I was considerate to people sometimes and am having lots of regrets about not being a nicer kinder friend. But then who wants to be with a moody regretful person either? I'm trying hard when I do go out to focus on the positive and concentrate on my friends and their lives and leave at home my woeful self.

[pippistrelle]

Perhaps it's about menopause being one of those watershed moments in life when we assess past behaviour. You might have some regrets from the past, but there's probably not much you can do about those now beyond learning from them and moving on. The fact that you've identified them is already a lot more than many (most?) people achieve, so kudos for that.

Do you have people in real life that you can talk to about all this? I know you say you try to be positive but it's okay to let people know you're struggling a little. We're often a complex mixture of positive and negative emotions: you don't have to completely hide the negative.

[PhyllisDietrichson]

Yes Pippi, agreed; but part of the self-makeover is me cutting out the dead wood. So (exactly like I'm doing here) not going on about "No body likes me....I think I'm going to eat worms!" whilst concurrently having visions of writing a hundred I'm sorrys to all and sundry; some of whom I've not seen since school!!