bpd and motherhood

[B3ckiRainbow]

I'm not sure I have BPD - my Gp said he thought I had bipolar or bpd. I certainly don't fit the classic bipolar symptoms. I never become manic. I do get low and very suicidal thoughts low but that generally only lasts a few hours to a day. My gp told me I am very highly functioning which apparently just means I am able to function along side my mental health issues. I am good at disguising my issues. The gp offered to refer me to the mental health team but i don't really want a diagnosis as wouldn't change anything and my previous dealings with them have been relatively poor. I am struggling with motherhood. I love my daughter but have many conflicting feelings around her and the situation I am in. My husband isn't helpful. I find it very hard to explain how I feel. I am struggling with getting my daughter out and about. I only have one other mum friend but she lives an hour away. I don't feel I am able to go to baby groups at this point. I really want some mums to talk to, some little friends for my daughter. I feel like such a terrible mother because my issues are holding her back. There is so much more in my head but quite frankly it would bore the crap out of people. I just worry and catastraphise and feel things so strongly. Is there anyone out there who might talk to me? I just need support and someone to make me laugh!!!

[YabuDabbaDoo]

Hello, I am similarly high-functioning but high-suffering. It's shit, isn't it? Sorry I've no better encouragement than that!

Here to chat if you'd like X

[B3ckiRainbow]

Hiya, yeah would be good to chat to someone who gets it! I'm new to this mumsnet thing, is there a pm function? X

[YabuDabbaDoo]

There is but I always forget to check it :)

Any idea what your next steps are? I'm prioritising my physical health & hoping that has an impact.