So, I'm a mess... I've been taking ADs on and off for over fifteen years, various ones. I recently tried a change, as I thought the ones I'd been taking a while were no longer working, but the new ones caused me to eat all the time (and I eat too much anyway), putting on half a stone in a week. I stopped taking them, but after a few days felt really low and went back to my old ADs.
I still feel rubbish. There seems no point to my day and I would rather sleep all day than cope with how I feel.
My relationship seems bound to fail. I comfort eat or eat out of boredom all the time. I can't work because I'm unreliable, likely to go to pieces at any moment and stay in bed. I have an illness phobia, so would stay away from work if someone was ill.
My health is bad at the moment, I'm in pain most of the time.
I'm worrying and stressed about everything. I don't receive jsa because I can't bear to sign on and be treated the way they treat people, plus I'm in no fit state to attend interviews or search for lots of jobs a day. My ESA was stopped when I failed my work capability assessment, I've put in for mandatory reconsideration, but they're taking their time and in the meantime I've no money.
My dp is very understanding, but can't be there for me all the time. Also sexually we are not clicking at all and it all feels so hopeless.
I want to curl up and sleep.
Please don't tell me to do mindfulness or exercise .. The pain I'm in prevents me doing exercise and I've no motivation for mindfulness.
My gp has referred me for counselling, but there is a long waiting list. All she does in the meantime is prescribe drugs. I asked her to refer me for psychiatric assessment because I'm worried about my extreme mood swings and paranoia, but she said I had to go to counseling first.
It's so bad, I wish I had the courage to end it all.
I've tried emailing the Samaritans, but their reply was a bit wishy washy and didn't help. I have a phobia of phones, so can't call to speak to anyone.
Has anyone been there and managed to recover?
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Mental health
How do you cope on a bad day? Fed up of feeling like this
38 replies
Thecatgotmytongue · 20/05/2016 20:55
OP posts:
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