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Mental health

living with depression and anxiety disorders

2 replies

Meangirls · 19/05/2016 01:40

15 years ago today I went for dinner with 4 of my closest friends. We had a lovely evening, good food, plenty of wine and great company. I was 20 years old and it was the first time I'd felt happy in months, possibly years. Somehow that opened up a pit of sorrow and despair. I went home, took a massive overdose of antidepressants and sleeping tablets and self harmed. My housemate found me the following afternoon when she tried to wake me for work.
I was sectioned, put on meds and stayed in hospital until I could convince the doctors I was not a risk to myself.

I have spent the last 15 years dealing with depression and anxiety and whilst I have never again reached the lows I reached that night I never feel it is very far away.

Every couple of years I have a relapse and end up back on medication. I seem unable to cope with normal emotions I just find them completely overwhelming. It's like I feel everything too much. When I'm happy it's like nothing can touch me but when the sad, empty feelings creep in I can't imagine ever feeling joy again. At the moment my mood is swinging viciously between these extremes and despite trying to address it I feel once again that my illness is taking over. Sad

OP posts:
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Elsasalterego · 19/05/2016 23:17

Please go to the doc and talk it over with him/her.

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AliceScarlett · 21/05/2016 11:22

I agree, why not go see your GP again. Maybe it's about accessing therapy, or perhaps not coming off the meds. Could you afford private therapy?

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