i cant sit with this a second more

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

My head is all over and I feel totally overwhelmed by my emotions. It feels like I only have one option. I hate feeling like this. Why does it never go away and leave me the fuck alone.

[Mishaps]

Ring this number : 116 123 - there will be someone to listen.

[Getit]

I'm sorry its awful
I can't help because I'm feeling just as tired of it

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

Thanks for replying and sorry you feel so awful getit. I need a way out.

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

If I were to leave and go and stay in a hostel to try and get my head together, would I ever be able to come back to my kids? I feel utterly desperate.

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

No one can help me. I'm trapped in the hell that is my own mind. I need peace. I can't live in this way anymore.

[Broken1Girl]

I'm sorry you feel so bad.
I don't have any wise words as am still struggling myself, feel much the same.

[FlowersAndShit]

Same here, i'm struggling. Try to distract yourself with something you enjoy. Maybe a favourite film you can get lost in, or whatever you like doing.

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

Thank you and sorry you are both struggling. I'm losing the war on myself at the moment. My head is so noisy I cant switch off from the thoughts. I need a way out. I'm sorry I have nothing positive to say. I have had all the help I am entitled to and nothing makes a difference.

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

I just want to die.

[Getit]

Hi please don't hurt yourself
I'm still feeling decidedly on the edge but it lifts occasionally
Worth holding on

[Lemele]

I went to what was called a safehouse during one very bad time. It gave me some time out which was good. I'll be honest, it allowed me to wallow a bit, but I desperately needed rest/space so in that respect it helped me.

[Lalasworld]

We're all thinking of you and hoping that things will improve. I can remeber some very bleak times when... well, I can't even type it but I can tell you that life CAN improve.
Even as a teenager people would say - "OH this is the best time of your life" and I'd be thinking "Really? I might as well not live because I feel crap" But it is better now. I do take anti depressants and I try to walk and get out doors.
We really feel for you
please try to get help
It can improve x

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

Thank you. I've tried lots of drugs, therapy, hospital admissions, well being stuff, different jobs etc and just nothing stops this overwhelming distress. I don't want to ruin my children's lives but I feel so desperate.

[Fedupofbuildingsnowmen]

Please keep fighting, every day is a battle but together we can win the war. Make sure you find some time each day just for you. You need to look after yourself so that you can look after your precious children. #keepholdingon xxx

[BeccaMumsnet]

Hi there howcanikeepdoingthis - we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Take care OP

[SkinnyChips]

You can get through this.

I saw this organisation on a documentary on TV www.maytree.org.uk what they do is amazing, it's a place to go stay a few days with brilliant support to clear your head, better than a hostel. Give them a call.

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

Thank you skinny, I have heard of the work they do but unfortunately they are at the other end of the country. Id be really scared.

[SkinnyChips]

Don't be scared, deep down you might not think this, but just by writing on here shows you do want to feel better, maybe give them a call for just a chat?

I have felt the way you do and it can get better.

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

Told my cc explicitly that I have been plagued with suicidal thoughts since Friday and I am planning to act into it. There is nothing she can do to help me. Its game over. I am evil. I need to escape.

[Foxyspook]

Try and have some faith in yourself. Perhaps picture a moment in the recent past when you have felt peaceful or happy because you will feel like that again. Thinking of you.

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

Thank you foxy. That is really helpful. I'm trying and I'm so ashamed to be posting this shit. I'm alone tonight. I really want to go through with it.

[Foxyspook]

I find just facing the thoughts can help; just accepting you feel utterly rubbish and want to die but that is just the way you feel now can help. And accept it without panic and without guilt. I have just taken a shed load of drugs (all the ones I am supposed to take!) and my mental capacities are slipping away. But take care - you sound like you are doing so well. Sleep well or at least hope all those babies do!

[Foxyspook]

Hope you are feeling better today?

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

Thank you foxy. It was a long night last night. Possibly the closest I have been. Today is a little brighter. I do feel like i have survived and as you suggested, accept that I felt utterly shit. Thanks so much for asking though. Means a great deal right now.