What a worthless day

[EscobarsMule]

at my own instigation, I might add.

Today, I woke up at 6 with the kids, cancelled everything I was doing today and got back to bed. Booked kids into after school clubs Woke about 11.30, ate lunch and threw it up, now back to bed again until school pick up at 6.

Not every day is like this, but a few times a week it is and anything else is like a struggle - I just want to do all my chores etc really fast so I can get back in bed.

I'm on ads, through the GP right now. Been through counselling, cbt, hospital stay - plus v severe breakdown after 2nd baby. But all psychiatric input is now nil, I just have the GP and offers of 'talking therapy' which is frankly not helpful to just go and whine at someone.

On the other hand, I'm alive and coping to a degree. Aren't I? The kids are 'OK' I think they just think mummy's tired a lot. Can this go on, I feel so guilty.....

[Psion]

Hi

Back when I had PND, I used to put DD in nursery every afternoon. I would rush through my chores in the morning, drop her at nursery, and then go and lie on the sofa until 6pm. I didn't even sleep, just used to lie there with my eyes closed, just totally shutting out the world. I was also on ADs at the time.

I followed this pattern for months, and I would get panicky and angry if I needed to do something in an afternoon because absolutely all I wanted to do was just lie on the sofa and shut out the world.

I think when you've been through something like PND or a breakdown, sleep or at least just resting and closing your eyes to the world is vital. It's like you're getting your mind to convalesce, and just tune out for a while as it recovers.

If you're only needing to do it a couple of times a week then I don't think it's anything to worry about. But keep your eye on it, and if your need to do it increases and increases then take stock and have a chat with your GP.

My DD used to love going to after school club. I bet your DCs do too. So long as you're keeping on top of household stuff (well, sort of) and giving them good meals and a few cuddles in won't impact on them, if you're often tired for the next while.

What AD are you on?

[0phelia]

Where does your partner factor in all of this?

I have suffered with bulimia and understand how it's an absolute drain on your energy and partly serves as a distraction.

I'm sure you know this, but eating more normally enables you to cope and think more clearly. There's a vicious cycle at play, where you feel down and closed, so you then engage in behaviours that make you feel more down and closed off.

You would benefit from guided self analysis regarding the cause of these feelings. My instant thought is that you need someone to take the burden of life's treadmill from you for a bit, to allow you some "me" time without having to feeling guilty and without you having to cancel other things. Practical support. Do you have any?