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Mental health

Think I need to accept I must get some help

10 replies

threelittlesnowdrops · 10/01/2007 16:37

Try and be brief...

Been not feeling quite right since dd born 16m ago. Always explained away my sadness - dh going back to work after 4m redundancy and me being isolated, me going back to work, having problems at work, worrying about my health, stress about work committments, just generally feeling sad thinking about my ds1 who was stillborn 5y ago.

Anyway my dr has wanted to give me ADs since March last year, due to me being snappy, stressed out and not coping with everything. I have kept stalling, thinking oh if I can just sort X out it will be ok. Also when at home with the kids I felt great, so just put it down to work horrors.

Since xmas I have been feeling really low. Got an awful cold which whole family had, we didnt do anything over holidays, just stayed in, then we all got a bug. Then it was our ds1's 5th birthday. All this time I have gone from worn out and falling asleep when my head hits the pillow to lying awake and most often crying at night.

On Monday I had a colonoscopy as I have been suffering with my stomach also since about March. Although lots of people who have had the procedure reassured me that the sedation would mean I would not feel or remember anything, in fact I felt and remember everything and feel really upset by the whole experience, even sometimes filling up when I am thinking about it. I just thought I was feeling sorry for myself as none of my friends rang to see how I was. But the insomnia has continued. Last night I was crying in bed but I thought to myself at least I am happy in the day with the kids. But today I am not

I have made an appointment to see my lovely GP on Friday. Am I just rubbish at coping with things? I feel quite scared, being this helpless and unhappy when I have two lovely children and should be happy.

Just trying to verbalise my thoughts to myself, but would appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced similar. I don't really know what to do.

TIA

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mellowma · 10/01/2007 16:39

Message withdrawn

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threelittlesnowdrops · 10/01/2007 16:50

Thanks for the empathy mellowma. I dont want to be upset and unable to sleep every night, must sort things out somehow.

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mellowma · 10/01/2007 16:56

Message withdrawn

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lulumama · 10/01/2007 16:58

i am so sorry the sedation didn;t work

relly really sorry, how distressing.......

now, you must see the GP..you have had so much to cope with and you have gone past your limit

and when you have your follow up re the colonoscopy, be sure to tell them it was a distressing experience...

glad your GP is lovely....

so sorry xx

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threelittlesnowdrops · 10/01/2007 17:01

I feel saying this, but the whole experience has left me feeling a bit traumatised. It really was horrible. But I don't think this is the root of the problem. I have felt low since Monday, which I initially put down to the pethadine come down.

But once I started thinking about things I realised just how long I have been feeling like this.

I know GP will suggest ADs again, as he has for a while. I saw him about 6 weeks ago and we agreed I would try St Johns Wort, which tbh hasnt had much effect. I just am feeling panicky and useless too often.

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threelittlesnowdrops · 10/01/2007 17:04

thanks lulu, what a lovely message. I feel a but gipped tbh! Went into recovery and everyone else was bloody asleep, how unfair

Think my friends will just have assumed it went ok (and it did, in that they didn't find anything bad ) but I am quite hurt they haven't rung, as I have been quite phsyically unwell from Sunday to now. And my goodness the picolax was awful too.

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lulumama · 10/01/2007 17:06

don;t be

it is an invasive and embarrasing procedure at the best of times, and when you are not in tip top shape and a bit low anyway, bound to be worse

any clue as to what the stomach issues might be yet?

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threelittlesnowdrops · 10/01/2007 17:09

Think it might just be IBS, but it is awful. I am considering asking my GP to sign me off for work for another week. Don't know what to do really. Thanks for your replies x

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lulumama · 10/01/2007 17:10

hope that the gp can help you

glad you don;t have Crohns or UC..although IBS can be horrible to deal with too

xxx take care xxx

and give yourself time to get well x

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SpookyMadMummy · 10/01/2007 20:16

I really feel for you going through this.. and I think only two things..
1, see your gp. it sounds like you have a good relationship with him and that always helps.
2, take each day as it comes. Don't beat yourself up cos today you feel like giving in.
You know where I am hun
XXX

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