Try and be brief...
Been not feeling quite right since dd born 16m ago. Always explained away my sadness - dh going back to work after 4m redundancy and me being isolated, me going back to work, having problems at work, worrying about my health, stress about work committments, just generally feeling sad thinking about my ds1 who was stillborn 5y ago.
Anyway my dr has wanted to give me ADs since March last year, due to me being snappy, stressed out and not coping with everything. I have kept stalling, thinking oh if I can just sort X out it will be ok. Also when at home with the kids I felt great, so just put it down to work horrors.
Since xmas I have been feeling really low. Got an awful cold which whole family had, we didnt do anything over holidays, just stayed in, then we all got a bug. Then it was our ds1's 5th birthday. All this time I have gone from worn out and falling asleep when my head hits the pillow to lying awake and most often crying at night.
On Monday I had a colonoscopy as I have been suffering with my stomach also since about March. Although lots of people who have had the procedure reassured me that the sedation would mean I would not feel or remember anything, in fact I felt and remember everything and feel really upset by the whole experience, even sometimes filling up when I am thinking about it. I just thought I was feeling sorry for myself as none of my friends rang to see how I was. But the insomnia has continued. Last night I was crying in bed but I thought to myself at least I am happy in the day with the kids. But today I am not
I have made an appointment to see my lovely GP on Friday. Am I just rubbish at coping with things? I feel quite scared, being this helpless and unhappy when I have two lovely children and should be happy.
Just trying to verbalise my thoughts to myself, but would appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced similar. I don't really know what to do.
TIA
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Mental health
Think I need to accept I must get some help
10 replies
threelittlesnowdrops · 10/01/2007 16:37
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