Anyone else just starting out on ADs and want to hold hands?

[Psion]

I have been battling with frequent spells of very low mood, coupled with anxiety, for last two years. Mainly caused by being perimenopausal. I have tried various HRT but none have sorted my symptoms.

Six weeks ago, my anxiety and depression really intensified, don't know why? Was suddenly unable to sleep more than.3 hours a night, and a constant feeling of dread and total lack of hope or enjoyment. I started to have very black thoughts about deliberately crashing my car into a tree. Not because I wanted to die, but because I just wanted the awful misery to just stop. I felt scared to leave the house alone, and even at home was scared to be alone.

Broke down to my GP and she started me on Citalopram, but couldn't stand the side effects. She has signed me off work and put me in touch with the crisis team. The CPN has visited twice and their doctor started me on 100mg Trazadone a week ago. No side effects yet, but it hasn't helped my sleep much which I was told it probably would.

I get the impression the CPN isn't overly concerned about me, and that I am not classed as a particularly severe case? I suppose because I can still force myself to get up each morning and shower. I am still eating and have managed to totally hide how desperate I have felt from my DCs (DH is being very supportive though).

It's very early days yet, only been taking it a week, but last Weds I felt considerably calmer and more positive and happy to tackle chores which I had felt too daunting for weeks. Then Friday I also had a much better day, feeling calmer and more positive and happy to leave house for a family meal. Yesterday I had another quite a good day, though felt reluctant to leave the house.

All the other days last week I have struggled to drag myself through the day, battling waves of hopelessness and just wanting to curl into a ball (but somehow haven't).

I don't think it a coincidence that these few good days have all followed having a better night's sleep (I augmented the trazadone with 4mg of diazepam on those nights as per my CPNs suggestion).

My CPN agrees and says it's too early for the trazadone to be kicking in yet, and just the better sleep lifting my mood.

I see my GP tomorrow to increase dose to 150mg, as 100mg is a very low, more a loading dose. Apparently I should see real improvement in another 2 weeks or so.

Anyway, that's my story. Just wondered if anyone else is just starting their AD journey and wanted to hold hands and share experiences?

[lottielou7]

I started sertraline in November due to my anxiety taking a massive hold and I found I was waking at 4am and feeling panicked about having to get up. I got to the point where I didn't want to go to bed because I didn't want the next day to begin!

The antidepressants have really helped me to cope, with driving too as driving makes me anxious. I have a long history of mental health issues and was wrongly diagnosed as bipolar in my 20s, had a spell in a psychiatric ward. Now it has become clear that I actually have AS which explains the continual anxiety I struggle with. But the sertraline works great for me. I also think it curbs my obsessive nature (a little!)

I hope you start to feel better soon, OP. The problem is that however you perceive things is your reality. People seem to be so anti meds for MH issues but I have come to believe that the use of them can be life changing.

[weenett]

Ive just upped my dose of Citralopram to 15 mg after doc recommened 20 i felt horrendous constanly sick jittery hot cold couldnt eat or drink so i dropped back to 15 im currently on day 10. All of this started as a work issue and spiralled into complete panic and depression after a lot of other stressfull stuff happened in the last 5 weeks or so! Good luck to us all!

[imeatingthechocolate]

just started sertraline today so far ive had explosive diarrhea nausea and a nap!

[CantGetNoSleeeeeeep]

I started citalopram 7 days ago 20mg after another anxious/depressive meltdown. Went back after 6 days as felt really lethargic and drugged out of my eyeballs! Dropped to 10mg and have felt anxious all day. Have got it into my head that I should get off these pills ASAP but my rational head says don't?! Feel scared

[imeatingthechocolate]

ive an appointment with my doctor in a couple of weeks im going to give it a go if im not getting on with them im going to switch or ditch and wait for cbt

[SoThatHappened]

Started citalopram: 10mg. Really dont like it even on a low dose.

Does anyone have the side effect of anorgasmia? I read some literature that said it could end up permanent