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drained

(3 Posts)
qwert1 Sat 12-Mar-16 16:33:32

Feeling a bit frightened as am having some negative thoughts. Had a breakdown a couple of years ago caused, I think, in large part by working 24/7 coupled with redundancy. Had a v serious illness since but thankfully recovered.

I am the breadwinner and never stop working. Work is very intense and i pretty much do everything at home as well. H is ill fairly regularly with low level illness such as flu.

I have told him I tired I am- truth be told I am beyond exhausted. Still, nothing changes and everything falls on me, Good Old Mum.

I'm not sure what I have done wrong but why is it that some people are valued whatever they do and others of us who work flat out inside the home and out, are just seen as workhorses?

Reaching a certain age this year and wondering if this is all my life will amount to. I would leave my husband but for son.Would devastate son. H's laziness and apathy towards helping me, make me so angry and sad.

Have told hubby so often how I feel but nothing has changed.

What can I do? H is quite a bit older and retired and financially dependant on me.

He just doesn't seem interested in helping me. When I talk about how i feel, he get v defensive and says things like, well, we can just sell the house. He is v resistant to working again.

I feel irrationally jealous of those who have supportive family/other halves. I don't feel at all valued, truth be told. Feel my life is just drudgery. H will never change. He likes the easy life at my expense. I feel used tbh and sad because I trapped with someone who is not willing to let me have fun. Does anyone else feel the same or has anyone else been in a similiar situation and resolved it?

H is not a good listener. Young son is v empathetic but not nice for him being caught in the middle of it all. Told H how i was feeling today. Not great timing on my part as he is ill with flu but I just exploded as haven't had a minute to myself for so long.

We have money worries too and I feel so stressed and sad. Have lost the vibrant me. I would not be here if it were not for my son as I don't see any other point in living, truly.

Thanks for reading.

MattDillonsPants Sun 13-Mar-16 04:02:52

You must leave. This is not a relationship it is him being a leech. He's not even supporting you in the house! Your son might be upset but that's not a reason to stay!

Sell the house, get somewhere smaller....see a solicitor immediately. Do you have friends you can lean on?

IonaNE Wed 16-Mar-16 20:36:33

OP, I'd have this moved to the Relationships board, I think you will get some good advice there.

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