Me again, still no better. Please can I have a hand hold or something?

[MarbelousBadge]

This was my previous thread

Previous

The Crisis Team have tried me on some different drugs but nothing much seems to be working and I am close to crisis point again.
I have an appointment with the Consultant to discuss this tomorrow.

My anxiety levels are at fever pitch, I can barely hold a conversation, I'm frantic.
I've spoken to the crisis team, hence the Consultant appointment tomorrow.

I've taken all the tablets I can take for today.

Today I had to let my work know I will be off for another 3 weeks and I think that's really what's finished me off, I've heard nothing from them at all.

Anyone to hand hold? I must try to keep myself together and not hurt myself before tomorrow, I know I must.

[FetchezLaVache]

Just read your previous thread and you sound wonderful (Marbelous, even!). I particularly liked your comment about looking like a poncho or similar garment was eating you slowly. So I've just popped up to say hello and hold your hand for a bit.

Please don't hurt yourself. We're all here.

[MarbelousBadge]

I'm far from wonderful, Fetchez but thank you.

I've had a rough evening of pacing and I had a patch I don't remember, which means I was doing some crazy stuff that I can't really recall.

Friends who have witnessed these blank patches have written reports for me to take to my appointment tomorrow, this is because when I'm not too bad I present as fairly up together in person, which gives the impression that I'm not nearly as bad as I am.

I'd like some sweets, that would be ok, I'm not eating much at the moment. But I can't run the risk of walking to the local shop unaccompanied, it really has come to this. In my normal life I have a very responsible job, oh how the mighty have fallen.

I'd love a cola cube.

[jobrum]

only time for a quick post but I have been at a point before where anxiety took over my whole life. It did go though, with counselling and I'm soon to have some cbt. I know what you mean about appearing to be coping etc when you need to - but inside you're running around screaming. You'll get through this, I'm sure.

I always choose thise odd foamy shrimps and bananas over coala cubes.

[MarbelousBadge]

I like the taste of the bananas but not the texture.

[FetchezLaVache]

I have a craving for old-school sweeties now!! Can you even still buy those foamy shrimp and banana things?

[MarbelousBadge]

Oh yes they do! We have a good old fashioned local sweet shop.

bananas

[MarbelousBadge]

shrimps

[FetchezLaVache]

Dammit, Marbs, you were supposed to say "no, they've discontinued them"!!

[MarbelousBadge]

Oh. I take no responsibility for any weight gain incurred as a result of this thread.

I saw the consultant, he was good, upped my meds but it was a strange conversation, mostly about literature.
I was there for two hours and I'm exhausted now.
The upshot is that I need to be more selfish and no-one has ever protected me. Both of those things are probably true but possibly not that helpful in the short term. Maybe the drugs will do that.