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Dh not well.

(14 Posts)
Dawndonnaagain Thu 18-Feb-16 15:31:16

Woke me up this morning talking to himself downstairs. One minute he's talking suicide plans and the next he's playing piano and singing with dd. I know he needs to be in hospital, he knows it and when his nurse comes round in an hour there will be no beds and nowhere for him to go. Another night of no sleep and extreme highs and lows. This has been coming for weeks. I can always see the downturn.
Any suggestions gratefully received.

Marchate Thu 18-Feb-16 15:42:11

What is his diagnosis?

ImperialBlether Thu 18-Feb-16 15:58:35

That must be incredibly stressful for you. I hope they have a bed for him. Is he bipolar?

Dawndonnaagain Thu 18-Feb-16 16:13:41

Yes, Bipolar, Complex PTSD and ASC. Been married 22 years so I know what's going on. Trust me, there won't be a bed, hasn't been for a long time. Crisis team will come in for 20 minutes a day. He'll perform for them and then the nurse every fortnight. Unfortunately the new nurse is ineffectual and cannot see beyond what she is presented with. Oh, and she ignores my input. Great.

ImperialBlether Thu 18-Feb-16 16:19:19

What would happen if you took him to A&E on the grounds he's talking about committing suicide?

You need to do something about that nurse. She needs a wake up call if she's ignoring the input of a partner.

Dawndonnaagain Thu 18-Feb-16 16:37:02

He won't go. I will do something about the nurse and have an appointment with her superior next week.

ImperialBlether Thu 18-Feb-16 16:41:46

When the crisis team come, what do they do? Can they refer to hospital?

Dawndonnaagain Thu 18-Feb-16 16:53:42

Yes they can, but they try not too. Fair enough.
Silly cow is chatting to him about social stories at the moment. I can hear them. Not discussed how he's feeling at all.

HaveIGotAClue Thu 18-Feb-16 16:56:06

Gosh - I don't know what you can do. Will the crisis team not even listen to you at all? Surely they know the questions to ask. Does he lie to them?
I'm so sorry to hear yet another disaster story about mental health services.

ImperialBlether Thu 18-Feb-16 17:00:39

You need to go and talk to her. "Sorry to interrupt but you need to know that DH has been talking about committing suicide earlier today." FFS what's she doing not listening to you?

Dawndonnaagain Thu 18-Feb-16 17:08:10

I've told her. She's now saying "oh your family need you."
I'm going in there now. I'll update later.
Thank you. x

aprilanne Thu 18-Feb-16 17:20:17

DAWN I GET IT .my hubby has been in and out of mental health units .bi polar /possible early onset dementia and he is only 49 .our IHTT are also useless his nurse not so bad right enough ..last time he was very ill they refused him a bed .well i packed his bags took him to mental health unit and told them here he is i cannot take it anymore .they tried to argue but i said he is a vunerable unwell adult and i am throwing him out of the home so you better deal with it .and just walked away and left them with him .god forgive me but i was at the end of my rope they phoned me a couple of hours later to say they were admitting him he was there for 3 months that time ..mental health is so underfunded my husband had threatened suicide even threatened to harm me but they only act if you push them ..so sorry for your situation i know it is awful

Dawndonnaagain Thu 18-Feb-16 18:44:32

Well, despite the fact that he was on about maggots, that he never gets anything right, that he hates the world, that he would ensure that we didn't find him, she can't find a reason to get him to hospital and there are no beds and apparently they're no good at dealing with Asperger's either. True, but not very fucking helpful. She'll tell his care co-ordinator tomorrow. In the meantime ring the crisis team who no longer do home visits. FFS!

April I did that last year. He was given a 48 hour respite bed and left to his own devices. I dare not do that this time, there's just not enough supervision there.

aprilanne Thu 18-Feb-16 20:10:07

yes my hubby did say the nursing staff hardly interacted with the patients unless he asked for help they just let them wander about ward.my hubby and youngest son also have aspergers the two conditions together are hard to manage . .i am sorry your nurse not very helpful .when my hubby aggitated and cant get help until the morning i just up the dose of lorazepam couple of milligrams usually helps until the morning .did your nurse not give your hubby extra as required meds to help him through?

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