I think I might be having a nervous breakdown

[Hasmymindcracked]

But if i'm aware of it then can it be a nervous breakdown?

Long term managed anxiety and panic attacks. Pure OCD. In a very good place generally. Had a baby 10 months ago and it all went downhill. I knew I had PND but just thought it would pass. Slowly building and building anxiety and panic. Inability to cope with even minor stress, shouting at DC over small things, panicking about meals/clubs etc. Just normal stress of having 4DC. I have a very busy life and have a lot to arrange and think about all the time. Kids are high energy. This week I seem to have hit a real low. Shaking all the time. No patience with anything. Every small noise seems amplified by 1000000. Sleeping fine when the baby lets me. No appetite. Worry and low about the future. Feel like i'm letting everyone down and not enjoying life.

Some other things.

Four weeks ago I stopped my sertraline cold turkey. 50mg which I had been taking for 5 years. I felt better in myself and was desperate for my sex drive to come back (which it has). I also proper belly laughed for the first time in years and it felt SO good.

Last week I stopped smoking. 20 a day to nothing.

I've weaned DD off daytime breastfeeding. Strong period pains all week which would suggest that my period is about to come back.

So the sertraline, quitting smoking, periods could be causing all this?

I don't know if I would know if I was having a breakdown, is that something you would be aware of or are you too far gone at that point to have self awareness.

I know the answer is go to your GP. I went last week for my coil to be fitted and she asked if I wanted a repeat script for my sertraline. I said oh no i've stopped taking it. She didn't even look up at me and just said ok and started talking about my coil. I don't feel able to talk to her at all. The other two doctors are men and quite old. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to them either.

My HV says she uses me as her example to other mums. (I wish I was joking). Everytime I see her she says oh here she is super mum. I don't know how I can say to her 'I'm not super mum and i'm really bloody struggling here'. I wish she would stop saying it as its really put me in a place where I feel I can't admit that i'm not ok.

Any thoughts anyone

[leghoul]

• GP, even if you can't say it, maybe you could write it in a note?
  

it's really important to say when you stopped the sertraline and that you stopped it suddenly, as it's an SSRI -maybe there's another option, on a minimal dose, that can help right now

• HV, erm, ignore
  
• periods, yes
  
• stopping smoking as well as the rest! well, firstly - wow well done, but secondly - that's a lot in one go
  
• take up a new activity, even if it's dancing in your kitchen with headphones on?
  
• let go of the things you don't need to do right now - if you're overstretched, really it's better to drop some non essential things from your to do list, dont take on additional commitments right now and wind down those you already have
  
• can you have a shelf or table in the hallway where everything for that day relating to DC goes, lists and so on. If the day starts off less 'arrrhhh' then you should give yourself a huge pat on the back. Sometimes my days are a success if we manage to get to school with everything we need
  
• can you have a blood test and check things like iron levels? when I am anaemic, my anxiety is amplified hugely
  

sorry not to be more helpful. I don't think you're having a nervous breakdown but sorry you're feeling like this right now

[NanaNina]

I think the term "nervous breakdown" belongs in the past. It sounds to me (and I'm no medic) that you are suffering depression and anxiety. The thing that strikes me is you stopping the sertraline and that could well be the problem. I am astonished that the GP made no comment about that, but then they see about 40 patients a day so probably "zone out" now and then.

You do have a very heavy load with 4 children and all that goes with that. Hope you have a supportive DP/DH. FWIW I think you should go back on the sertraline asap, surely your sex drive takes 2nd place to being able to function in the way you have been doing. I'm curious about "long term managed anxiety and pure OCD" - do you mind saying how they are managed. BUT you can't take a drug for 5 years and then come off it "cold turkey" and not expect a reaction.

[Hasmymindcracked]

Thank you for your comments.

When I say well managed I mean that I had learnt to live with a certain level of background anxiety and OCD. Nowhere near this level.

I understand what you mean about sex drive. But it is important to me. I feel like me again like I could be really really sad but at least I could also be really really happy. Instead of just meh all the time

[o0oSuzyWongo0o]

Hi,

There are alternative meds to Sertraline, you really need to speak to your GP again and tell her how you are feeling. My husband stopped Sertraline too, then quickly went downhill to place he's not back from yet - long road ahead with lots of meds. So I'm basically saying you need to nip this in the bud now, and you will be super mum because you've faced it straight on and sorted it. Good luck.

[kerstina]

I think the effect of stopping your meds suddenly are kicking in . I would have slowly weaned yourself off them .perhaps get a short term prescription of something to help with your sensitivity . That's what happens when I stop taking my medicine I become more sensitive to everything plus the actual withdrawal symptoms . Go back to docs !