Severe anxiety over changes in friendship groups

[goldenpineapple]

This is a bit of an odd one. I'm just wondering if anyone can relate, really. I seem to struggle massively when things shift within my group of friends - mainly when people who have previously just been friends, start a romantic relationship. Its really severe. I want to avoid seeing them at all costs, and it makes me feel really uncomfortable to see them together in that way. I feel like a horrible person for feeling this way, as realistically it has nothing to do with me whatsoever and I should be happy that they are happy.

This happened once before, years ago, and I actually avoided seeing the people together for a very long time. I can't believe its happening again. It makes me feel angry to see them together but I really have no idea why. I know that beating myself up for feeling this way only makes it worse, but I feel like such a nasty person.

I guess its social anxiety related, which is something I've struggled with in the past - and also inability to deal with change? I don't feel like I can admit to anyone who I feel in real life, as its just so weird. Hoping someone can relate.