Anxiety andisorder Intrusive thoughts...

[YommyMommy]

Hi ladies,

Not looking for advise...I just wanted to put this out there.

So I have been suffering with the dreaded Anxiety since the birth of my eldest son almost 10 years ago.

It wasn't too awful at first and mostly manageable. Then around 5 years ago I had a nightmare that I had hurt my kids...it was a horrific nightmare. I woke up remembering the dream and thought how awful but put quickly forgot about it. That morning a had a panic attack and the thoughts came rushing back. To say I was terrified is an under statement, problem is the thoughts stuck and I couldn't help but think we'll if I'm having the thoughts it must mean I am an awful person and I might carry out the acts. I sought help and no one ever seemed too concerned telling me that wasn't me and I couldn't be capable of anything like that...which is true but I had a hard time believing it for a long time and was scared to be around my children on my own. Thankfully I did get better and although the thoughts were sometimes there they no longer had power over me.

Fast forward to now...I was over doing it tail end of last year...and wham my anxiety came flooding back along with my intrusive thoughts. Again I was terrified and though oh no not again. This knocked me on my butt as I really thought I had put all this behind me.

This time I decided to educate myself as well as working with a counselor. I have learned this time round that these are intrusive thoughts and are actually very common, but when you are highly anxious they get stuck on repeat and you can't get them out of your head.

This is a truly awful thing to have to deal with and very little talked about as people feel embarrassed or ashamed to tell people about their thoughts. These can involve violence or sexual elements involving the most important people in your life...and that makes them just devastating.

Not really sure what I want from posting this...but I guess if I can make one person aware who might be going through the same kind of thing then that's something. X x

Thanks for reading x x x

[AdrianlovesPandora]

This is really interesting as I listened to a podcast about the history of thoughts describing exactly the dark thoughts what your saying here it's worth a listen too as it shows ways people have overcome this as well. The podcast is invisablia and here is the link !

itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/invisibilia/id953290300?mt=2&i=330561738

Myself I work nights and whenever I go into a dark room (which I have to at work) I get an automatic thought of the girl from the exorcist ! This used to make me so anxious but now I really don't feel affected by it and it quickly fades. Please let me know what you think of the podcast in sure you will find it interesting !

[Fuzzyduck21]

I have intrusive thoughts but my counsellor once said 'no one got hurt by a thought' and also said I'm not a special and I Dont have special powers - if I think things it doesn't make them true and won't make things happen. It helps me to think that when I have the thoughts.

Everyone has intrusive thoughts but instead of flying past your consciousness without much thought we latch onto them and give them more importance and believe they must mean something.

Would you consider medication if it's really affecting your life? Xx

[YommyMommy]

Hi ladies thank you for your replies.

Adrian I will have a listen...thank you for the link x

Fuzzy duck I take citalopram...10mg...it keeps the anxiety a bay and let me get on with things x second time in them and are week 9 at the moment. As you know may know it's a slow process to recovery...but I'm getting there x x

[AdrianlovesPandora]

Oh good yommy I hope you like it and that it helps. This is a very interesting thread.