Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Anxiety - the pain of all pains!

(3 Posts)
Pancake2015 Wed 02-Dec-15 22:50:03

So annoyed with it.

I just thought id get my daily worries out there....

It starts early hours when i cant sleep due to my mind being in overdrive, worrying about stupid things from the previous day.

Then i wake up, and feel it over the start of the day. I then feel it over whether im going to get the kids to school on time. Have i been too harsh with my sergent majoring to get them moving and motivated? Have we got everything?
Then there is the outside world. I worry knowing i have to open the door to enter the dreaded outdoors!
I dread seeing people. Do i smile and say hello? Or is that too foreward and people will think im weird? Would i be rude if i didnt?
Then the crowds of teenage kids i have to pass. Then the hordes of parents taking their kids to school. I hate crowds. I feel like im the only one who can be seen in amongst everyone, and i do everything in my power to make myself not be noticed. Then i need to shout of one of the kids and draw attention to myself.
Then i leave, back through the hordes. Then find myself walking past all of the people i didnt know whether i should smile and say hello to or not. Then i think about whether i chose to say it the day before, or not. What must they think?
I get home, breathe a sigh of relief and realise that was only 1 and a half hours into my day.
I still have to walk the dog, and go to work, and go back for the kids again.

At work i second guess myself with everything i do. Is it good enough? Did i do it right? Can i really ask again if this is correct, when i know what was said and have done what was asked?
Thinking that they all think im useless. Simple little things make me worry irrationally to the point i look so stupid to work colleagues, which sends my anxiety further through the roof. I question whether i should quit or not every day. Then i know i have to face the outside world again.

It is so hard trying to pretend you are not anxious. I try so hard to appear normal - inside i am being tortured by my own thoughts, and it feels there is no escape.

moopymoodle Thu 03-Dec-15 15:10:21

Have u has any therapy? If not I would suggest claire weekes audios first off. They are online for free if you have a quick Google.

I'm not a doctor but it sounds like GAD to me. Therapy for anxiety is based on learning to not want to be rid of your thoughts. So with GAD you learn to make room for thoughts and uncertainty. Eventually anxiety reduces.

Pancake2015 Sat 05-Dec-15 11:32:23

It is GAD, yes. I have had therapy a number of times. Sometimes it seems to help and i feel im getting there and then im triggered back off again.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now