Father sectioned... what to tell my Son? Please help... x

[Woob86]

My partner(of 13 years) and I split a couple of months ago and a few days ago he attempted suicide... if I hadn't have saved him he would have died. He now does not want any contact with our 9 year old Son...not even text or phone calls. My Son has not asked any questions yet... he is completely oblivious as to the drama of the past few days...luckily. I do not know what to say to him now though. Do I wait until he asks questions or do I approach the subject myself? Then I don't know the right thing to say to him.. I don't want him to think his Dad doesn't love him or blame himself for any of it. I feel guilty as hell as it is, as I chose to leave my partner... now I'm also frightened that my son will blame me and start rebelling against me Has anybody been through anything similair? Any advice would be very useful and appreciated.. Thankyou.. Wendy x

[sooperdooper]

Don't feel guilty but I think you should tell your son that his dad isn't well and so can't see him right now, you don't need to go into details but I think it's fair to tell him that much

Hope you're ok and you've got people to talk to in real life too

[starlight2007]

At this stage it sounds like he is really not well and therefore not able to make rational decisions.. For this reason I would consider telling your DS he is not well...See how things progress.

I would also like to make it clear this is not your Fault. Many relationships break down they don't result in suicide.

[bushtailadventures]

I would just tell your DS that is dad isn't very well at the moment, but that he will be able to see him when he is feeling better. My DM was sectioned last year, and refused to see me for 6 weeks. It hurt,although I, as an adult, was able to (sort of) understand why, if I had been a child I owuld have found it very distressing. When I was a teenager she was also sectioned, and wouldn't see anyone, my grandparents just told me she was too ill to see me, and I accepted that without asking questions.

For what it is worth, I don't believe it is your fault! To get to the point he is at now, there would be more behind it than a relationship breakdown.

[CloakAndJagger]

He's obviously unwell at the moment, so don't take him saying he doesn't want to see his son as a forever thing as it will most likely change when he's better.

When I was very ill, I didn't want to see my family and children either. It was part of the illness.

Just explain to him that his dad isn't well at the moment.

[madwomanacrosstheroad]

My eldest sons father had serious mental health problems and was in and out of hospital. He did not live with us.
I told him lomething along the lines that his dad was very ill and that illness made him unable to realise at the moment that he loves people but once he takes his medication he will get better. My d's was much younger and over the years I expanded the explanation.

[Woob86]

Thank you all for your advice...people keep telling me not to blame myself but tbh I'm finding it really hard not to.. my ex said if he can't be with me then he doesn't see a future for himself... so as much as I try not to, I am feeling so much guilt... maybe that's why I'm finding it so difficult to speak to my Son about it :/ but as I said thank you all for your advice... it has helped xx

[starlight2007]

my ex said if he can't be with me then he doesn't see a future for himself
This is all part of his illness..At the moment he believes this but nothing he is saying is from his stable mind... He was more than just your partner... He may feel devastated at the break up but he is still other people and he can't see that right now including been a father.

Be kind to yourself..