Hi, last time i posted on here was 4yrs ago when I was pregnant with my son and it helped a bit so thought I'd give it another go. I had pre-natal depression with my son which was pretty horific, it lasted a month though and then lifted. When he was 5mths old I then started having panic attacks out of the blue. They got so bad that I could barely leave the house, what followed on from that was a year of trying out different medications and counselling, it's never got 100% better but it settled down enough for me to get on with my life.
When I found out I was pregnant I came off all of my medication as nobody was sure the effects it would have. I'm 32wks pregnant and have generally been ok, until recently. Some of the weird scary thoughts I had in the first pregnancy have returned (I won't go into detail). What is really worrying me though are the new thoughts I'm having. At my 20wk scan I found out I was having another boy and I've started to feel sad about the fact that I will never experience having a girl (I'm one of three girls). A lot of my friends have boys and are on their second children and have found out they are having girls, it doesn't help with people making comments like ' oh don't they have the perfect family now', is my family not perfect because I will have 2 boys? I'm worried that I won't love this child because it's a boy. I know it's completely irrational and makes me sound like a terrible person, especially as we had to go through quite a lot to get pregnant in the first place. I also feel guilty because I know my family were all hoping for a girl., they didn't make a secret of this. I can't talk to my husband about it in case he thinks I'm a terrible person. I know there are plenty of people out there who can't even have children but I can't stop the thoughts running through my head and it's driving me mad!
Sorry for waffling on, just needed to get it out.
X
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.
Mental health
I know I'm being ridiculous .....
5 replies
Henners1 · 11/08/2015 09:10
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.