Not sure what to say really. I'm writing this sitting in the park opposite my house after walking out. I've left my husband and screaming 10 month old there, as I've just had enough of it all. I just feel a bit like I want someone else to deal with everything for a bit.
My son is wonderful but he doesn't sleep. I'm averaging around 3 hours a night. DH tries to help but baby screams until I come. I've tried sleep training but found it too traumatic.
I am wondering whether I'm depressed. I cry a lot at nights as I'm so tired and dread going to bed. I've had depression before and it doesn't feel the same. I genuinely believe if I could sleep, I could cope.
To complicate things DH has a physical disability so limited in the things he can do for the baby. So nearly everything is my responsibility - feeding, changing,cooking, housework. He works full time and I'm a stay at home mum, so as I've made this choice, can't complain.
So, is this depression or sleep deprivation? And what Can I do? I don't want to take antidepressants unless I have to - found them useless in the past (tried a few) and still breastfeeding. I have a therapist but can't afford to go and have v limited childcare. (Both my parents are dead, no other relatives so reliant on parents in law).
Sorry for lengthy post. I should probably go home. I won't be surprised if DH is angry with me. I'm awful for doing this.
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Mental health
PND or just tired.
12 replies
teacupnic · 07/06/2015 16:52
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