Getting help to adolescent Aspergers sufferer

[FirstOfManyNameChanges]

(Obviously NC for this. Longtime poster/lurker who wishes they had found MN years ago.

I will probably post facets of this saga under many different NCs, as and when I feel I can distil something into a question.)

There is a hell of a backstory to this. However, todays issue is our DS, who is 19, no longer lives with us after a family meltdown last year. Through various channels (some of which we are unsure about) he has ended up in what I believe is called assisted living.

However, towards the end of his time with us, contact with some mental health specialists flagged up some concerns about his behaviour. Leading to our firm belief that there is something "not quite right". Whatever it is, it's incredibly subtle - so subtle that it took many many meetings for it to emerge.

DS is ferociously intelligent. Too much, really, as he was able to coast through school (and therefore not worry the teachers). However cracks started to appear when he started to move in circles where some sort of self-impetus is needed. The best way I can describe it, is that he doesn't "get" certain things. However, he's so quick and bright, and capable of explaining them back to you, that you think he does understand them. Right up to the point where his actions show he never understood if from the beginning. Was just a very convincing liar.

Anyway, currently he's unemployed, having walked out of an apprenticeship. Again we suspect he's having problems. Chatting to the person who sees him daily in his house, it appears he has be saying for the past 4 weeks he's filled in whatever forms are needed for HB etc. However when they checked, there was no record. They had to sit down with him, and go through them.

(When he was 7, we had some concerns about his development - he didn't seem to mix well, and had some (as his teacher put it) "almost autistic" traits. We went to a child psychologist who came out with a suggestion of Aspergers after a 20-30 minute watch of him playing. We read the literature, but it seemed rather woolly. Besides which, he started mixing perfectly (we suspect he started to realise he needed to "fake it"), and we had no more concerns.)

Anyway, we're currently at the stage where he thinks he has no problems, and therefore no need to see anyone. Which ordinarily would be fine, except it looks like it is causing problems - not least with official forms not being filled in (and therefore benefits lost).

Things are further complicated by the fact he's no longer a minor, so we have no real standing.

So how can we get help to him ? Given that whatever is going on is "mild" - you'd never see it in normal daily life.

Just to add that this situation is one reason why I have sought treatment for depression, and my partner has been receiving treatment for depression along with some other issues which have had a negative impact on their MH.

I apologise if there is too much ambiguity to make sense of this. Part of this story involves NC family and physical violence, so I have tried to blur the trivial aspects - and I appreciate the risk that my trivial is someone elses keyfact. I also apologise if I don't reappear under this name.

God that felt good to type. I'm not even crying (which I thought I would be).