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Helen / Fluffy Dressing Gown / Creamhearts Funeral

(23 Posts)
JonBAM Sun 17-May-15 20:48:13

I know this board isn't keen on new threads, we now have a date and location for Helen's funeral. If any one would like to attend you are most welcome. I'm not sure if she met anyone in person from these boards, but she clearly contacted a number of you by post or telephone.

Following her wish to be cremated, we will be holding the funeral at Chanterlands Crematorium, Chanterlands Avenue, Hull, East Yorkshire HU5 4EF on Thursday 21st of May. This will be followed be a celebration of Helen's life at a nearby hotel where in honour of Helen's love of them, we shall be having a buffet and a chance for everyone to share their memories.

In an completely unrelated coincidence, the room we will be using is the Inspiration suite, which seems at fitting place to say our goodbyes to Helen.

If anyone would like to come, please get in contact via pm so I can let you know the time.

I would just like to add, it is so encouraging to see the kind messages many of you have offered in the other thread, I know that Helen valued your support as much as she offered her own to others.

Jon

NanaNina Sun 17-May-15 21:28:05

What a kind gesture Jon especially as we are all strangers to you and to each other really but I think most of us connect with a small group of people and Helen was someone I connected with as she was always so empathetic towards others, even when she was having a really tough time herself.

I won't be coming to the funeral as live many miles away, but I do hope that you and Helen's family and close friends are able to support each other in the weeks and months ahead. There is no "time limit" on grieving as I'm sure you know - and of course we never "get over" the loss of a loved one, but we learn over time to live around the space left in our lives. I'm sure there will be a teeny bit of comfort for you, knowing that Helen is now at peace and her suffering is over. x

Queenofknickers Sun 17-May-15 21:34:24

Jon, exactly as nana said, thank you for such a kind invite. I wish I could be there but I am the other end of the country. Helen helped so many people and was loved by people she never met. That Is such an achievement in any life. I will light a candle on 21st in her memory. I hope you have lots of support around you and know that you can always turn to us on here who will never ever forget our fluffy. thanks

larahusky Mon 18-May-15 12:34:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

larahusky Mon 18-May-15 21:58:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

giraffesCantPluckTheirEyebrows Mon 18-May-15 22:01:36

Am in Glasgow so too far but will be thinking of you

DavidTennantsBeard Wed 20-May-15 18:05:06

Hi Jon I can't find the other thread to post on, I found it last night but was too upset to post.
I started reading this board when I was having an MH crisis 2 years ago and remember vividly reading a post by Helen (Fluffy as I think of her) about sitting in her car outside the CMHT office and feeling completely stuck. I didn't really post to her threads but always read them after that to see how she was getting on as I faced my own struggle. She was a really compelling writer and came across as a gentle and kind person despite the turmoil and pain she was suffering. She clearly loved you to bits and you were her rock. I can't imagine what you are going through but you were lucky to have each other if only for a while.
God bless both of you

larahusky Wed 20-May-15 21:25:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gunpowder Thu 21-May-15 19:55:04

I hope you got to say say goodbye how you wanted to today. Have been thinking of lovely Fluffy and you today. flowers star

madeuplovesong44 Thu 21-May-15 20:12:21

Thinking of Helen and all her loved ones today x

giraffesCantPluckTheirEyebrows Wed 27-May-15 22:12:25

xx

Khalessi Thu 28-May-15 16:07:27

Oh my I've only just seen this. What awful news, I'm so sorry to read this, fluffy was a big part of this forum, I'm gutted for her loved ones. Thanks for the invite Jon, I'm the other end of the country but you are in my thoughts. RIP fluffy x

Smartleatherbag Sat 30-May-15 12:40:41

I've only just seen this too. I'm so sorry to hear about Helen. She came across as a loving, caring person, even in her darkest moments. May she have peace.

DameMargaretofChalfont Wed 21-Sep-16 22:30:02

I'm posting on this "Zombie" thread in way of an update about Helen.

I followed many of Helen's posts about her fight for mental normality and her crippling condition.

I remember one particular post where she was waiting for the crisis team to arrive to section her. Whilst she waited she was cooking sausages for her DH Jon, as she needed to be busy and she so wanted to be a "good wife" to Jon.

Sadly Helen took her own life last year.

The link below will take you to a news article with details about the inquest into Helen's suicide. Because her husband Jon posted about Helen's death and funeral I don't feel that I'm "outing" anyone. I'm posting to offer closure to those among us who followed Helen (or Fluffydressinggowns) with her battle against depression.

I really feel that the bullying at school may have started an irreversible chain of events that ultimately overwhelmed Helen. Lets hope in years to come MH is better understood and the world becomes a kinder place.

Jon, if you're reading this you have our love and sympathy

Broken1Girl Wed 21-Sep-16 22:53:46

shocksad I read that earlier and shared on sm, condemning the nurse's shitty attitude. I had spoken to her on here but had no idea it was the same person.
Let's hope stigmatising attitudes and negligent 'care' to patients labelled with 'EUPD' are tackled.
RIP Helen. flowers

ladyballs Wed 21-Sep-16 22:59:02

Thank you for posting the article. I remember chatting with Fluffy when she was posting here from the hospital. I'm glad to know her real name.

flowers

dangermouseisace Thu 22-Sep-16 11:37:16

I used to post under a previous name and I remember Fluffy. Even though she was going through crap herself she was always supportive to other people.

What horrible things that nurse said about her. I don't think they realise how hard it is to do away with yourself in that way, especially in a 'safe' place. The assertion that she was doing things just before being found is highly unlikely. The mental health trust failed Helen, with disastrous consequences. She was a human being, not a disorder.

Deepest sympathies to Jon and her family. Having lost his wife, and then having to go through an inquest. I hope she is in a happy place now.

I still miss fluffy. I didn't post on MN for a long time after her death and I couldn't face the Village threads at all.

She was more than a disorder. I'm so sorry that Jon has lost her from his life.

Wolfiefan Thu 22-Sep-16 22:22:40

I remember fluffy. What horrid things that nurse said. She was clearly so very much loved and so strong to struggle on for so long.
Hoping for better treatment of all of us with MH issues in the future.

OhThatThingAgain Fri 23-Sep-16 17:08:00

She was my friend, the nurses description does not describe the kind and thoughtful woman I knew. We used to talk almost daily, she was brave and very helpful to so many people. Such a sad loss for her family.

Smartleatherbag Fri 23-Sep-16 19:03:40

Oh, I hope Helen's family see these posts. I remember getting support from her even in her darkest moments. What dreadful things that nurse said about her. I listened to the radio yesterday about failure to protect patients. There was a psychiatrist saying it's an individual problem. It's not. It's institutional problem. I digress, but it needs to be recognised.
Much love to Helen's family xx

Foxyspook Fri 23-Sep-16 23:26:56

Helen was just lovely. Her death still really haunts me and I only 'knew' her from here

howcanikeepdoingthis Sun 25-Sep-16 22:10:35

Im horrified to read the recent reports. It is disgusting that even in her death, Helen is shown such little respect or understanding. That nurse should be ashamed. Her lack of empathy, compassion and care is appalling.The stereotypical and emotionally abusive descriptions she used to describe someone with a pd lavel shows a complete lack of understanding about the distress and pain people struggle to live with. I hope she is struck off, she shouldnt be allowed to call her self a nurse.

Helen was warm and kind and funny, I miss her support and presence on here a lot. It is a tragedy that she was not given the care she deserved. I hope in death she found peace.

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