What does it feel like when the pills work?

[mysparkleismissing]

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[velourvoyageur]

hey OP :) are you thinking of going on ADs or have you starting them already? hug from me. Are you okay tonight?

I for one can't say categorically ok, these pills are working for me, they're no panacea. But I've been on these particular ones since I think 19 and I'm 21 now and I guess I just compare it to how I was beforehand. I used to be crying all the time. In sixth form I'd go to the library and open a book and well up. Then go home and try to practice piano and cry at the first mistake. Get up the next day and cry cos I was awake again! Was also terrified at what was happening to me.
I didn't get my sparkle back exactly :) but I am much less scared, hardly ever cry for an unknown reason and can wait out the bad patches without feeling like they'll last forever.
When your mood is bad, you're just handicapped, right? Being without a handicap can be a bit like having wings. Just being you without all the wonky brain chemistry, or whatever's going on up there. Less fatigue, guilt, grey whirliness of the mind etc. I suppose people who do have wings get used to them after a time but that doesn't mean wings aren't a pretty good thing to have.
sorry, I'm a bit drunk...but can say that ADs are def worth trying. hope you feel better soon x

[mysparkleismissing]

Hi thanks for ur reply and insight.

I've been on ad since 19th Feb ish. just had my dose upped that I've not started yet although the masses of tears have stopped I'd expect to be feeling better.

[BigBirthdayGloom]

When I started on citalopram, I went overnight from trying to get through the day without seriously losing it and being angry with everyone to being calm and able to function. I don't mean everything was perfect, nor that I'm happy smiley all day long. In fact I'm having a bad patch at the moment. But it is soooo much better. Part of why it's not instant happy is that there's years worth of stuff built up to deal with and accept and also, I'm in a habit of grumpiness. I have now to persuade myself that my brain chemistry is loads better and that the cbt techniques I've learnt actually stand a chance of working. And that if you have surgery, you can be healed, better but still bear scars. I guess mental health is similar-I may not be totally as I would have been without years of anxiety/depression, but I have the ability to function.

[NotAJammyDodger]

My experience was similar to Birthday - I felt very calm and my panic attacks dissipated - was after about two weeks (although I was on a high dose). It felt like a massive weight had been lifted of my shoulders and that the world wasn't as terribly bleak as I had previously experienced. I hope you get to experience this too.