feelings of dread surrounding seeing/meeting friends or family

[lazyminimoo]

I dont know what it is about me but i am not normal i have been ahaving the same problem of feeling dread, nervous, depressed and just not wanting to about meeting talking to people i already know ,,,,,,

I feel i am a introvert person maybe and i often feel like the best thing for me would be to cut contact and stop having any friends as i find that i dont tend to enjoy talking to the very few not close ones i have , i have known one friend for years but iv never felt that comfortable with being able to be myself with her but iv kept up texting her a lot even though i can feel anxious about that too because i feel we are so different in a way an i dont think me being honest about my feelings to her about things in my life or general would make her happy, im quite socially anxious anyway

The main thing is she wants to meet up and as an idea i think ya why not it be nice to but then reality acually i feel like it would be hard work talking to her as in stressful for me,,,,,,,,,problem is i find i have not a lot of things to say and maybe im just not meant to be friends with people who like to talk a lot,,,,i would rather just watch people talking then me have to join in

I have another friend who iv not seen for 2 years she bumped into my partner and he took her number as she wanted me to have it so i made contact but i was stressing over it so badly and feeling like i just cant do this

I am meant to meet my mum in town but that is not making me feel good my mum can talk and talk and never stop i mean it makes me feel so tired and like i cant relax as im trying to be chatty back but if im myself and just dont talk back a great deal i feel self consious and i cant talk to my mum about this issue as i just worry about her being sad that her daughter is not like her and her daughter dosent really want to keep talking and sometimes i really just dont want to talk at all not a word

I know maybe this is just my personality type that im not a people person but then if i see my partner out with his friends i get so so jealous of it i feel anger but why would i feel anger and jealousy if i dont want friends???

its like i do and i dont its the effort involved maybe that causes me so much stress the stress of talking i feel like i need and want to drink alcohol after social situations and i shouldnt drink as i used to binge drink most days a lot and i dont knomaybe just find w why maybe boredom but stopped that behaviour now

I would rather just text my friend i feel but i dont think my friends would be ok if i just told them that but then i sometimes get down and think its because i am isolated and see no one except partner and son and occasionally my mum or dad but its hard with everyone talking is

Am i the only one with this sort of weird worry and getting stressed with talking its the feeling of having to talk that i dont like, i can talk a lot to my partner at times but still with him i dont tend to talk too much about funny things just more serious things but i enjoy that more

[KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon]

You sound EXACTLY like me.

I'm very much an introvert. Social interaction drains me. I even work nights so I see fewer people.

Understand exactly what you mean by talking being hard work. I just can't do it.

I have no solution, though. I wish I did.

But you're not the only one. Honestly.

[WanderingTrolley1]

I'm the same, lazy.

Thoughts of having to small talk, or any talk for that matter, fills me with dread.

I'm even anxious about family meet ups as I can never seem to find any words.

:(

[LastingLight]

What you're describing is a symptom of depression for me. When I'm depressed I just can't face being with people and it's like they talk at me but it has nothing to do with me. Have you always been this way? Have you ever discussed it with a counsellor? If you were happy with the state of affairs I would tell you not to worry but it clearly causes a degree of distress.