Coping without usual support

[306235388]

I suffer from anxiety and get quite down too. Am on sertraline and it seems to work and also I think I have just generally improved.

My main anxiety surrounds health especially of the kids - everything from a cold to a tummy bug has me panicking. I hate myself for it. My mum thinks I am pathetic for being this way.

Usually I have dh here to support me emotionally just for someone to discuss things with etc and at times take over with the kids so I can go away on my own and chill out so it doesn't become overwhelming. Eg: if I've not had enough sleep or whatever.

However I've just dropped dh at the airport and he's going to be thousands of miles away for 2 weeks and perhaps uncontactable for much of that time.

I thought I was alright with it but I think I must've been in denial. I'm about to put the kids to bed and am trying not to cry. I am pathetic I know.

I don't have any close friends here and my family all live 150 miles away and my mum and dad can't travel. Dc are 8 and 4 and at school / morning nuraery.

Ds is recovering from a chest infection and isn't usually much bother but dd has a cold and has a habit of coughing until she vomits when she has one.

I'm just basically panicking about getting no sleep, about the kids being ill or me being ill (am currently recovering from injury which had me in bed for a week).

I don't know why I'm writing this tbh and I know I feel ridiculous and other people are much more capable than me. I never used to be like this.

I'm just used to having dh around even just to text or to talk to at night when he's home and I'm feeling really overwhelmed and lonely already and he's away for another 2 weeks.

I hate myself for being like this. Has anyone else been in this situation and been ok even if they didn't get enough sleep or the kids were ill or whatever?

[306235388]

Bump?

[306235388]

Anyone?

[BigfootFilesHisToesInYourTea]

Just seen your post in Chat. Not much useful to say other than here for a hand-hold and .

Is it worth having a chat with your GP? Have you had any CBT in the past to give you coping techniques?

[Nessarosehas4]

Op I have no experiance of this but am here if you want to rant.

[Imisscheese]

I hope you are feeling OK. I don't have any advice really but wanted to reply. I'm sure you will cope, although it might seem overwhelming initially. Don't forget you can phone 111 for advice if you are concerned about your children. Have you considered speaking to your GP about your anxiety as it may be that you could do with an increase in medication? Also, I had CBT when I suffered from anxiety and I found it really useful.

I hope you are OK.

[Scootergrrrl]

I started experiencing similar levels of anxiety when DH was away for a few months with work and, looking back, it was all to do with thinking I wouldn't be able to cope if the children were ill or if something went wrong. Of course, the children did get sick (tummy bugs, colds and a rather severely bumped head) and the car broke down but we managed. It was a muddle sometimes and nothing was ever very tidy but we are all still here to tell the tale.
I ended up seeing a counsellor for the sessions and taking beta-blockers for the physical symptoms of anxiety and one of the most important things he told me was to avoid catastrophising and projecting things into the future - "oh, DD has got a tummy bug, that means DS will get it and then I'll get it, and then one of us will probably end up in hospital with dehydration and then we won't be able to get to the shops to buy food and we will all starve and it will be terrible."
Instead, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, dealing with the bad stuff if and when it arises and your two weeks will be over before you know it. When you feel yourself starting to panic, take some slow deep breaths and try to avoid alcohol (easier said than done when solo parenting!) as I found it really made me worse. And good luck. I don't think people who have never suffered from anxiety appreciate how hideous it can be, both mentally and physically. And sorry for the essay!

[306235388]

Thanks for the replies guys. I don't think I need to see the GP at the minute. In general my anxiety is a million times better than it has been and I do have methods I use.

Definitely agree about the catastrophising - that's exactly how my thought process works!! Exactly. Dd has a runny nose just now and I'm thinking she will end up really ill and well get no sleep and I'll be exhausted and Ds will be ignored and I'll be the worst mummy in the world etc etc....

I have a bit of a phobia of being exhausted because I know it makes my anxiety worse and also I worry about the feeling of being worried iyswim? I'm scared of feeling anxious.

Bleurgh it's all shit. 1.5 days down I suppose.

[BigfootFilesHisToesInYourTea]

Just taking it a day at a time sounds like a good idea. Might be worth looking into CBT to give you some strategies to help you cope. Hope today is a good one for you.

[306235388]

Thanks for that, yes definitely a day at a time!

Dd is absolutely full of the cold. Seriously hoping for some sleep !

[Hardboiledegg]

I hope you get some. Nearly another day ticked off.

[306235388]

Argh resurrecting the thread because Ds and dd both ill with coughs, sore throat and fevers and I'm getting it too. So stressed.

[SofaSpud]

Hi op. Hope you aren't all feeling too bad. Are you keeping dc's off school? Do you have things that can help practically? Paracetamol. .tissues. .soup maybe? How long to go until dh is home? X

[306235388]

Dh back fri morning.
Have meds and stuff. Trick is getting dd to keep calpol etc down because she's coughing until she's sick.

Ds hasn't needed anything for fever / shivers today but have given him some nurofen before bed just now. Dd's temperature is 38.1 so have given nurofen too before bed.

I am ok just got a sore throat and cough and am tired and a bit panicky.

Keeping them up wee but longer to hopefully get meds to stay down.

Yep keeping them off school and nursery. Ds has still had bit of fever and is just totally choked up. Dd obviously really not ok for nursery. Bless her she had a 'date' with her boyfriend planned tomorrow too

2015 has been shit for bugs in our house. Kind of hoped to welcome dh home with a clean and tidy house and happy kids but at this rate it'll be a shit tip and all of us sick....

[SofaSpud]

A date at nursery! That is so cute. It sounds like you have everything under control. If you feel anxious just remember this. You've done everything you can and should for your kids. .you sound like a wonderful mum to me. I'm sure your dh will be proud on Friday shit tip or not. And only really two full days to go. Hope dd manages to keep her meds down and you all have a good night's rest. What's tomorrow's plan, duvet day? X

[BigfootFilesHisToesInYourTea]

Hang in there. You've managed this far, not much further to go. Survival is the name of the game when bugs strike, I'm sure your DH won't mind the state of the house.

[306235388]

Yup duvet day and letting them be on tablets or whatever as long as they like and easy food etc. They are both sleeping in my room right now which wasn't really the plan but I suppose it'll probably be convenient...

[SofaSpud]

Yes it's probably best they are with you tonight. If temp spikes they can get a bit delirious can't they. .will be comforting for them. It's a shame your mum's not a bit more supportive. I hope also your taking care of yourself. .plenty of fluids and rest! X

[306235388]

Up with dd who is shivering and crying bless her. Have given calpol but she vomited so don't know how much she kept down. That's 3rd time today she's been sick from coughing and she's coughing up thick green phlegm too. Nurse said yesterday chest was clear......

Ds on the plus side is very unsettled but doesn't seem as hot. Am going to try and sleep since dd has drifted off.

Ugh. Hate it when they're ill.

[306235388]

Horrendous night. I'm feeling shoddy too now.

Dd is coughing up thick green mucus. Really don't know whether I should take her back to GP. If it's just the same bug as Ds has / had then fine but she's been ill for nearly 2 weeks now....only had her seen yday tho.

[BigfootFilesHisToesInYourTea]

You could call the NHS 111 number and get some advice from them about whether it's worth taking DD back to the GP? Hope you all start to feel better soon.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Yes please take her to GP today.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Fever and green phlegm sound like it could be bacterial infection

[306235388]

Am nervous about going back to GP...you only ever get to see a nurse who tbh I don't trust as she has repeatedly missed quite serious infections in my kids and recently told me (past illness) that it was normal that dd was vomiting blood with the cold.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

It can be normal to vomit blood with a cold if a wee blood vessel in nose has burst.

Sorry but I think you should still take her. I totally understand why you don't feel keen though.

[306235388]

Thanks fanjo - yes I know re the blood vessel but she wouldn't even see dd so how could she know?

Am going to wait a wee while and see how she is now we're up and about. Well not about really, but up!!