Do you think I would benefit from counselling?

[Timetochangeisnow]

Not sure if this is the right place.... If you feel I should post somewhere else please let me know!

My confidence is at an all time low.
I had a horrendous time as an Newly qualified teacher (quite a few years ago now) and even to this day it's affecting me terribly in the job. I have a very hard class this year and all my feelings of not being good enough have come back (and then some). I have thoughts going round constantly in my head saying 'What if the children don't listen to you, what if the parents think you can't do your job, what if your ta thinks you're rubbish, what if your ta speaks to SMT about how you handle the class, what if you can't control them, what if someone walks in and they arn't doing what they're meant to be, what if the head wants to speak to you, you're not good enough, what if they put you on capability, what if they don't listen to you' round and round ALL day everyday. I think I might actually need counselling to try and get past it all but don't think they'd understand or would just think it's stupid. Dp says 'just forget it, it was over 10 years ago' and I can't!

It's also starting to affect my confidence in other areas of my life e.g. Today I was on a stall helping my friend at a craft fair and had some paper to put in a bag. I was so worried about putting it in wrong and doubting I was able to do it. The rational part of my brain says it's just some paper in a bag!!!!! Whereas my anxiety was telling me I wasn't good enough to do it!

That makes me sound mad!

[Butterflywings168]

Yes, definitely sounds like you would benefit from some counselling or therapy. I relate to a lot of this around lacking confidence/ self-esteem etc.
Sure your DH means well but it doesn't sound like he understands, sometimes we can't forget and what we need to work through stuff.

[Snog]

I would recommend counselling and consideration of a diagnosis for anxiety too - why not talk to you GP?
Sounds like you are having a terrible time of it - look after yourself OP.