First of all, want to say I'm not a troll but have used mumsnet over many years. But this section is all new to me and it would be great if I could get someone to just give me a little guidance or tell me what my problem might be. Absolutely understand if I don't get any feedback though. First of all, I drink too much, not saying I'm pissed right now, but I wouldn't write this if I didn't have a little bit of drink inside. I do drink too much and yet I have a serious health condition. Okay, I'm going list my problems/concerns in a very matter of fact way, but please don't think I'm not concerned because I wouldn't write this if I wasn't.<br>First concern - anxiety - I worry about the death of my close family, especially my son, to the extent that at his age he should be socialising outside the home without me. He can't anyway because he has special needs, but should he want to, which he doesn't just yet, could cause a problem, so I have that as a potential worry!<br>Secondly, i don't trust anyone close to me, in so far as I can imagine they would try to kill me. Not in a physical violent way, but more like adding drugs etc to my drink. My mum was a physical and emotional abusive person - so I put that down to my past experiences.<br>Thirdly, I fear being anywhere where immediate help might not be readily available. This might have something to do with my serious health condition.<br>Fourthly - Although I am overly protective of my son, I worry that I will harm him in my sleep. I am known for sleep walking, so knives, DIY tools etc I have to always hide after being used, and whilst doing so I purposely try not to give it too much thought, for fear that I will wake up half asleep and use them. I should state here, that this is just a fear, I will never ever ever harm anyone!<br>I over analyse everything, I used to be confident, but now I'm always questioning how my comments could be taken. To the extent, that at times I feel happier when I just keep my mouth shut, at least then I don't have to worry later.<br>I can not go to a doctor, I cannot take anxiety medication for reasons that I can't go in to. Are my concerns overly worrying or are they common amongst anxious people?