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Mental health

So I've just been diagnosed with Bi Polar....

28 replies

Nikinakin00 · 25/09/2014 19:23

It is and it isn't a shock.
I'm taking Valproate as quetiapine absolutely zonks me and I can't function!

I'm hoping this will let me work and look after my DD (13 and was diagnosed with ADHD on Friday) whilst also stabilising me but I'm worried that I'll just sleep all the time as I'm so sensitive to anything that has a sedative effect.
I'm scared of the weight gain as I've already put on a stone.

How do I cope with the meds and not be a fat, lethargic, personality less zombie?
I'm so used to being mad and hypo!
Mind blown is an understatement...

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TheSilveryPussycat · 26/09/2014 15:05

You need to co-manage this with your psych - is he/she aware of your situation re work and DC? I have a diagnosis myself, and am now on dekapote and quetiapine - min therapeutic doses, as quetiapine can zonk me, and did, at the level I was on when discharged after brief hypomanic epi earlier this year. Do you have a CPN - mine is great, she's also responsible for me now being on an AD (sertraline) as well, as coming to terms with what had happened knocked me for six. I burst into tears when she visited, and she referred me back to CHHT psych v quickly.

I feel pretty good now, steady away, though still have motivation problems which have dogged me all my life (and yes, slight mania did help with that, so I know where you're coming from).

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Mitchy1nge · 26/09/2014 15:18

you don't have to tolerate weight gain and feeling overly sedated or devoid of personality, lithium has never really caused those problems for me and there are of course many other meds - carbamazepine for example is supposed to be weight neutral - so ask for something that is less likely to have those side effects?

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Mitchy1nge · 26/09/2014 15:20

is there an mdf group near you? they can be really helpful

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Nikinakin00 · 27/09/2014 09:48

I'm also on dekapote but that's all I will take for now.
I'm concerns about all the health implications, and the effects on my personality.
A friend of mine is bi-polar and he takes Ritalin for his ADHD and manages his ups and freak outs by educating his family and just living with it.
It's hard trying to decide what to do so early on....I am still seeing the crisis team every other day. Not sure what will happen after that.

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LastingLight · 27/09/2014 09:58

Nikinakin00, just about your dd... I recently had a long talk with my psychiatrist about ADHD diagnosis in young teenagers as my dd was also diagnosed with ADD and I have a diagnosis of depression/bipolar. He said the symptoms of emerging Bipolar and the symptoms of ADHD overlap significantly and the wrong diagnosis is often made. If the ADHD is treated with meds (e.g. Ritalin) and that is the correct diagnosis then both concentration and behaviour should improve. However if the diagnosis should actually be Bipolar then the meds can cause behaviour to get drastically worse. So just be aware of that.

Give the meds time to work. Initial side effects should wear off after a week or two. Everybody reacts differently so don't assume you are going to have specific side effects like weight gain and feeling like a zombie, first wait and see.

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livingzuid · 27/09/2014 14:21

It's an interesting condition bipolar. I was dreading taking my medication and being on it for life but actually it has made things easier for both me and DH. I thought I would become a bore but far from it as it actually means you can focus and get stuff done which I previously couldn't do before.

I take lithium and it made me pretty unwell at the start but I have adjusted now. Have had issues with my thyroid but they suspect that was a problem prior to the medication. I was also worried about diet because I gain when I am depressed (go anorexic when manic) so I followed the Good Mood Diet mainly which meant I could eat carbs Grin and managed to lose a fair bit.

Exercise is crucial in self management. When I don't go out I feel terrible. And sleep, regular sleep. I have tried to establish a routine which is not easy with a LO but it helps.

I work and have a 4 month old. So it is possible :) what I am finding hard now is the PMS so considering going back on the pill. Sometimes I feel like a walking pharmacy but it is what makes life bearable for my family. It is about finding a pattern that works for you and your family.

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Nikinakin00 · 27/09/2014 16:29

Lastinglight - I too am awaiting diagnosis for ADHD, my friend also told me that he was first diagnosed with it.
I shall keep a close eye on DD and mention to the school, I would be the best person to see the signs! Thanks for that, v interesting!
I exercise very regular so will try to keep on top of that, I feel ok so far but I'm on a pretty negligible dose! It doubles next week to 500mg.
I know it's not the end of the world but this year has been unbelievable! I just want a rest from it all now!

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Nikinakin00 · 30/09/2014 07:54

Just wondering, if anyone is particularly sensitive to the ingredients of these drugs, how do you get up for work/ school in the morning?
My whole body aches like I have the flu and I could sleep forever :(
Starting to wonder what's worse, the drugs or the bi polar!

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livingzuid · 30/09/2014 14:00

You will adapt. It takes time though as your body adjusts. If it doesn't though speak to your psychiatrist and tell them all your symptoms. You should be getting very regular reviews until it stabilises then they reduce the frequency. There are other drugs to try if this doesn't work, and different combinations.

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Spaceboundeminem · 30/09/2014 15:03

Hiya I am bipolar 1 and take 20mg olanzapine (horrid for weight gain but a wonder drug) 800mg sodium valproate which at first made me sleepy and have bad stomachs but I'm happy to answer any questions on it. I also have 2 mg clonazepam.

You get used to the meds I haven't gained weight because of sodium valproate and I have been on a few mood stabilisers with horrid side effects but the anti psychotics are worse IMO.

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Spaceboundeminem · 30/09/2014 15:04

Oh do not drink on sodium valproate as its really dangerous too mix the two.

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Mentalpsychiatrist · 30/09/2014 15:09

I have bipolar 1 and take aripiprazole, quetiapine and lithium. All of them made me feel like shit at the beginning but the side effects do diminish over time. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have about medication.

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Nikinakin00 · 01/10/2014 07:18

Why can't you drink on Valproate?
Im not planning to have benders every night but I have two of my best friends birthdays this month.
Two people I know have ditched the meds and have learned to live with having B/P, to them the medications mess with them too much.
Spacenound - why do think the anti psychotics are worse?
Quetiapine and olanzapipne seem to be wonder drugs according to the crisis team!

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Nikinakin00 · 01/10/2014 07:23

Livingzuid - can you explain how it's made things easier for you all?
I quite like my highs...

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Spaceboundeminem · 01/10/2014 09:00

Anti psychotics I find are better at treating the illness and they are wonder drugs. But the side effects are ime worse. The weight gain on olanzapine is really bad. It makes you crave fatty food like when you get a pg craving only its all the time. Olanzapine makes me very drowsy but I am on a high dose 15-20mg.

I have also been on arirpiprazole which didn't help my s?mptoms made my nerves bad and I had to have a second to stop me jumping up and down all the time.

Drinking on valproate can I think cause liver damage. I read it somewhere so speak to your doctor before drinking alcohol with it. Although with bipolar the recommendation is that you don't drink anyway as it can cause episodes. I am a type 1 so my up episodes are not enjoyable.

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Spaceboundeminem · 01/10/2014 09:01

It was called akathesia I got on arirpiprazole.

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livingzuid · 01/10/2014 09:29

Manic phases can be a creative time. For me though they are punctuated by acute anxiety and paranoia. And I also spend a lot and at my last episode spent 30 grand in two months. I also can't stay put and moved halfway round the world and back again then over to Europe in six months. Not good for job stability! I also developed an obsession with tupperware and drove for days trying to find the right size ones. I would bake through the night creating new recipes. But I was very unfocused. I physically felt like a spinning top.

Looking back the only benefit was that it gave me the courage to leave my ex which wouldn't have happened without a high phase. But on medication (I just take lithium and will resist anything else as I want to ttc for dc2 next year) I am more settled. I still am me, but I am more able to function. I can enjoy life without it bankrupting me Grin Life is a challenge but I prefer the person I am on lithium than the person off it.

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Mitchy1nge · 01/10/2014 09:58

EVERYONE prefers me on lithium than off but I must have an incredibly selective memory because I struggle to recall ever being actually ill, despite a few hospitalisations for mania, until people start dragging up excruciatingly awkward examples and that makes me want to change the subject

I don't take anything else unless there is some sort of psychiatric emergency on its way. Am happy that lithium is really well established with its evidence base blah blah, would certainly not take any of its alternatives, am not 100% sure that I actually have the right set of symptoms for it but that's a circular argument I've been having with psychiatrists for about 15 years or so

I did gain weight and endure some mental fog but was also on chlorpromazine, lithium alone doesn't seem to do anything horrible, I was mooching about relatively happily with levels of 1.3 recently and didn't realise anything was wrong

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Mitchy1nge · 01/10/2014 10:03

sorry just realised you are on depakote not lithium

obviously if the side effects don't improve or you start piling on lots of weight you don't have to tolerate it, was told for years that I HAD to take lithium and chlorpromazine and put on 4 stone (it has gone now but am still resentful) when actually am fine with just lithium over 90% of the time

I did find the self management course run by MDF helpful, and had quite a lot of CBT around relapse signatures and prevention but I think they were not so overstretched in those days

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Nikinakin00 · 02/10/2014 19:26

I'm still not convinced I'm Bi-Polar... But either way, I owe it to my family to try the medication to see if it stabilises me.
Start my high dose tonight.
I've heard that Valproate can make your hair fall out and it grows back curly.
I think in 12 months time I'll be boring, fat, sleepy and have a head full of pubes.
Smile

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 02/10/2014 19:39

Arf @ boring, fat, sleepy with head of pubes

I'm on quite a high dose of sodium valproate and quetiapine at night and have been for several years. My last manic episode in 2008 scared the living daylights out of me - similar to living I was pinging around, never sleeping, doing all sorts of ridiculous crap, drugs, spending money like water, quite a lot of casual sex Blush

I almost lost everything. And at the time I would have sworn on my children's lives that nothing was wrong with me. The clarity I have about it now is largely thanks to my brilliant CPN at the time, and means that I will NEVER stop taking my meds. I thank the Lord every day that DH could see past my behaviour and not leave. We did separate for a while.

Anyways OP to the point. What I am trying to say is that I have been lovely and stable (NOT boring) for 5 years now. I need more sleep than i used to, and mornings are sometimes tricky but I have a "reasonable adjustments" note on my personnel file at work. I would say it took 6 months to a year to nail down the right dosage and for my sleeping to return to more "normal" patterns. In other words, my bipolar meds have saved my life. The stable life that i want, with DH and my wonderful DDs and my fab job that I love. Manic episodes, as fun and creative as they can be, are not worth risking that for.

I drink when I want to by the way!

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 02/10/2014 19:42

I do have to admit I do struggle with the weight gain. I will admit that that is definitely a drawback to the meds. I'm working on it though!

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Nikinakin00 · 02/10/2014 19:56

Wow - maybe I have the right diagnosis.
I'm cringing and guilt ridden for my past... Weird to think that I'm not the person I actually thought I was!
Yes the weight gain is a nightmare.
I said I'd try the meds for 2 weeks but I probably have to commit to linger than that, don't i?

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Mentalpsychiatrist · 02/10/2014 19:59

Weight gain can be a problem on a lot of drugs but it can be managed. Not to brag, but I haven't gained a pound on my regimen.

Like mitchy everyone prefers me on lithium too. I recently proved it's efficacy by stopping taking it and ending up in hospital, yet again. I tend to suffer manic episodes more than depressive and I allowed all sense of control. I went so far as to buy a Porsche during an episode two years ago.

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Mentalpsychiatrist · 02/10/2014 20:00

Allowed?? Stupid spell check, it should be 'lose'.

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