depression & miscarriage

[beth1988]

Hi everybody,
Basically I'm feeling the lowest in have in my whole life. I've always struggled with depression and ive been having councelling for over 2 years now. I was just starting to turn a corner, boxing day we found out we were expecting number 5! come February I had some pains so had a scan at 11 weeks which showed our baby had died at 9 weeks :( obviously we were both devastated and I ended up having an operation to remove the baby 2 weeks later. It was all a terrible ordeal and the worst thing I've ever experienced. 3 months ago we decided to start trying again and 2 weeks ago we got a positive test! 5 days later i woke up with a bleed and and a full blown miscarriage in hospital.Its all taken a huge toll on my mental health and I constantly feel low. I hate my body for not being able to do what it is supposed to and reproduce. I had 4 healthy babies with no problems :( yesterday i started feeling a little happier and then my back totally went while I was tidying up, on top of being almost immobile with that I've got a terrible cold and am ear infection. what is wrong with me! seems like every time I'm feeling better something comes and takes it all away and I'm back at square one again. Sorry for the long post I just don't know what to do and have no1 else to talk to. my family are not supportive at all