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Totally unable to make decisions?

(7 Posts)
qumquat Thu 14-Aug-14 17:38:18

Does anyone else have this. I'm falling apart at the moment because whatever I do it is wrong, then I change it and it is still wrong. Has anyone else had this and got over it? I'd love to hear how!

CycleChic Thu 14-Aug-14 19:13:24

Who's saying that what you do is wrong? Yourself, or someone else? I'm not quite sure what you mean- can you give an example please, like how you decided what to do for dinner?

I've had my own issues with decision making but I'm not sure what you're going through so I don't know if it compares. ..

qumquat Thu 14-Aug-14 20:56:56

Hi cyclechic. Current example is choosing childcare for dd. I decide on one then become completely convinced have made the wrong choice, obsess about it 24/7, so I change to a different childminder, immediate regret, my original choice was perfect, this is a disaster etc. etc. similar occurs with tiny decisions such as which side to lie on in bed. Whichever side I am on is wrong, and so through the night. It is me saying I am wrong. I am 100% convinced my feelings are true, then I change my mind and my feelings do a complete turnaround, repeat until fade (or more likely time runs out, wish I was back at work tomorrow so this decision could be over)

temporaryusername Thu 14-Aug-14 21:07:26

I have this a lot. It could be a sign of anxiety and/or depression. I don't know the answer! I can't even decide whether to post this.!..you'll know if I have wink

Maybe we should set time limits and try to enforce them - eg. whatever I am thinking at 8pm will be final. It is really hard though. Also to remember that not making a decision is a decision in itself and creates more problems - things get delayed or missed, you miss your chance to relax and sleep for example. I wonder too if the more you overthink something, the worse the decision turns out to feel, because we go into with higher expectations and feeling it has to be right to justify all the time and agonising over it. In fact though, that will have undermined our confidence in our choice and we'll be going into it nervous so it is even less likely to go well or feel like the right decision.

Trollsworth Thu 14-Aug-14 21:12:57

This happens to me too, when I'm depressed. I deal with it by sticking to a routine. So, we don't make decisions about cereal, we have crunchy nut cornflakes. I don't make decisions about clothes, they are all black. I've had the same haircut for seventeen years. I sleep on the side of the bed nearest the door - because I always have. The school my children go to is the one I went to myself. My meals always consist of meat, two vegetables and a carbohydrate and to me it doesn't matter which one.

I think what I am trying to say is that I do what is easier, every time.

And I take my antidepressant at ten o clock, every night.

Rummikub Thu 14-Aug-14 21:51:50

What helps me is thinking it's the right decision at that time and there isnt a wrong decision. takes time. Try to stick to your first decision too.

temporaryusername Thu 14-Aug-14 21:53:26

I'm going to try and tell myself that in most cases (obviously not where something extremely lucky or unlucky occurs, or other mostly unpredictable factors) the biggest factor in whether a decision is right will be the attitude I go into it with. Eg. determined to make a decision work if I can, rather than being a victim of whatever turns out and letting it happen to me. I don't think it will work!

But that way we can make the key decision not about which school, food etc, but about what our attitude will be once it is made.

DP has me down as very indecisive, and it is true. Although - on joint decisions he always says he doesn't mind and so it's up to me...

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