Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Any anxious obsessives out there ?

(79 Posts)

I think I might be a bit, I don't know, a bit overly anxious and obsessive.

This have come to ahead recently, I went for a night out and can't remember bits, I am filling my head with all sorts of things I might have said and done. None of them that logical, but I feel really anxious about it. I have spoken to a friend who said I was fine, spoken to loads of people afterwards who haven't said I was out of line, but my body doesn't seem to react to logical thinking.

I have always been like this, over thinking everything, obsessing about it and working it over in my mind till my heart is pounding and my head is knotted. I over think everything that most people wouldn't give a second thought.

What can I do ? I know I could see a GP, what would they say ?
Is anyone else like this ?

SilveryMoon Sat 31-May-14 10:07:22

Hi. I'm just beginning to realise that that feeling I live with is not normal. That what I feel all the time is anxiety. It's nothing else, just anxiety all the time and about everything.
I over think everything to the point it's a running joke with everyone I know. I'm always worrying, I'm paranoid, I think everyone's against me, is horrid. Ok, I know people aren't against me, I know that really, but they are. Do you know what I mean?
I'm sat here now trying to decide whether to hit post or not..........

Limelight Sat 31-May-14 10:17:14

My DH suffers in a similar way so I have huge sympathy. CBT has helped him although it's still an ongoing struggle. He talks a lot about identifying 'category 3' worries or things he can do nothing about and so can stop thinking about. It's cutting off the urge to ruminate as quickly as possible which is the key I think. Two things have helped him recently: (1) mindfulness, mindfulness, mindfulness. He has a course thing and makes time for this every day even when he's feeling ok; and (2) a very simple acceptance that he is an anxious person. This means that he doesn't need to think through every crisis or concern in immense detail. Often it's enough to say, I am an anxious person and this is the anxiety speaking.

I am glad you pressed post Silvery I know exactly what you mean, with me I am always worried that I have done something wrong, maybe upset someone or fucked up somehow. It is exhausting.
I will look in to headspace thanks for that suggestion twenty smile
I feel ok now, still waves of anxiety and overthinking silly unimportant things. I have been out all day, which has been good, taken my mind off things. Keeping busy seems to help as does being outside.
It really does seem worse in the mornings Lem, it's nice to know there is a reason for that.
Hope you're all ok, thanks for the support. smile

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sat 31-May-14 15:55:40

I've been doing mindful breathing using the qi gong Android free app, it's really helpful.

SilveryMoon Sat 31-May-14 17:08:06

It's been a few weeks that I've seriously entertained the thought that this isn't just a quirk, that life isn't supposed to or have to be like this. But, if I seek advice from a gp and they want to medicate and book therapy, what if it makes it better? Who would I be without the extreme and constant worry?

Benchmark Sat 31-May-14 19:45:35

Reading this I almost feel relieved that how I feel isn't normal. I'm like this all the time. I can't enjoy myself without anxiety afterwards.
The poster that mentioned morning panic really hit home. I wake up in such a depressed/anxious state. If I don't get up fast I am a mess. I've got presentations coming up at work and I've found myself obsessing over how I can hurt myself so I don't have to do them.

Givemethewords Sat 31-May-14 19:52:46

I am on Citalopram and in the middle of CBT. I had begun to feel better but am going through a bad patch at them moment and struggling to use some of the CBT strategies. I am not eating or sleeping and have a constant knotted stomach at the moment.

I hope to try and pull myself together and get back on track as I so hate feeling like this. I am aiming to do some work on the strategies I have been taught to try and feel better.

Dysfunctional Sat 31-May-14 19:55:56

Sorry to jump in but to those of you suffering from anxiety- do you suffer this all the time?

I don't know if some people with anxiety feel ok much of the time (when you are at work etc) but in stressful situations feel completely out of control. I've been advised to see a GP rather urgently but today I've had a really good day and feel fine. On a difficult day I might feel anxious/tearful much of the day and on another once or twice during that day.

Like most people on this thread I do overthink most of the time.

AreYouFeelingLucky Sat 31-May-14 19:59:09

I overthink too. I have bad anxiety - GAD.

Citalopram didn't do anything for me, but now I take a high dase of Propanolol and that is working, much of the time. Sometimes it doesn't, but that's less regular, so I can cope with that now.

I've got an understanding GP who puts me back on track with sleeping tablets and new meds when I need them, so I don't feel like I'm going to be in crisis forever.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sat 31-May-14 20:05:12

Dys-no, not all the time at all, today had been fine, sometimes I can go weeks and I'm fine.

SirChenjin Sat 31-May-14 20:07:01

Beta blockers (Propanolol). I've been on them for the last fortnight, and they are bloody marvellous - they definitely reduce the anxiety levels. Quite why no GPs have suggested them up until now I have no idea - much better than some of the ADs I've been on over the years.

Other than that I don't really have many answers. I try and write things down and make lists to try and ensure that I remember things. I'm also trying to really hard to slow down, and try to focus on one thing as opposed to flitting from thing to thing in a panic.

I had a bad day on Friday - lost my keys on the way home from school, asked my son to hang out a washing, which he did - only thing was, I hadn't actually washed the clothes, clicked on a link to my Paypal account from an email (it was a scam, surprise surprise, and I was this close >< to giving them my details, and then to top it off I forgot my friend was coming to pick up DC3 for something in the afternoon and went out. Ended up sobbing uncontrollably and shaking as a result (upped my beta blockers as a result!)

Benchmark Sat 31-May-14 20:08:10

Dysfunctional - I don't suffer all the time. But mine is getting gradually worse. I suffer most in the mornings and mine is related mainly to certain situations. Presentations, public speaking, potentially embarrassing situations. I think mine is tied up with depression and low self esteem but I don't really know, I can't get any perspective as I don't know what's 'normal'. I also think negative thoughts most of the time.

Dysfunctional Sat 31-May-14 20:08:57

Ok that's good to know as I thought the Dr might think I'm wasting their time. I don't get anxious about going to the doctor so I'm probably going to appear very together. I don't even know what I'm going to say apart from my reactions to stressful situations are getting gradually more extreme.

SilveryMoon Sat 31-May-14 20:27:53

I feel what I'm now thinking is anxiety all the time. It's constant and has been for as long as I can remember. I don't definitely know that it's anxiety but something someone said to me a few weeks ago made me think <shock horror>
The things I experience:
Difficulty falling asleep, and staying asleep. I don't remember ever having a full nights sleep. I'm awake every hour and half/2 hours.
Fear that the worst will happen in every situation, and needing to prepare for that worst.
Thinking that if someone doesn't answer their phone, I must have pissed them off
Everything needs to be done NOW and at full speed. Even cooking dinner, everything is put on the highest setting because I'm inpatient and need to stand there constantly stirring and checking
I think if you can do something quick, why do it slow? Dp is the complete opposite and drives me crazy
Negativity, everything has a negative spin on it. I'm the one there's no pleasing
I feel uncomfortable if someone is looking at me
I hate to be touched
People are talking about me, I know they are (I know they're not really)
I have to have a plan, I don't like to do things on the spur of the moment or whatever, I don't like to just go somewhere without at east 24 hour notice
I have lists for everything. I have to cross things off as I do them. Even things I'd never forget or not do, like get up, or get dressed.
Some part of my body needs to be moving all the time. Normally my leg, I just jig and shake it around, especially if I'm sitting down.
I day dream, but nothing is actually happening. It's like an absence of some kind and then I have to say to myself (not out loud) get back in the room Silvery
I shudder a lot, just randomly, like an extreme shiver, but can be really bad. My line manager, the first time she saw it thought I was having a seizure.
I get noticable heart palpatations, just sitting on the sofa watching tv.
I have what I call 'anxiety belly'. If I am nervous my bowel gets effected. I have to 'go' after I've been on the motorway, for example (tmi)
Mood swings
I talk. A lot. Even when I don't want to say anything, I can't keep my mouth shut, gets me in lots of trouble at work!

Something's not right with me, it's been like this forever. Apparently it's not normal......?

SilveryMoon Sat 31-May-14 20:32:58

I also catch myself imagining the worst. Like I'll be driving my car and thinking 'if it catches on fire, how will I get the dc's out quick enough? There are child locks on the doors.' Or 'the person behind us on this platform will push us. How will I get back on the platform before a train comes?' 'If the flat downstairs catches fire, and we can't get out of the main door, we'll have to throw the sofa cushions out the window and jump' the list goes on.
I mean I think it's ok to have a plan, like the fire thing, but other people think I'm weird.

Dysfunctional Sat 31-May-14 20:39:00

SilveryMoon so that sounds like a generalised anxiety disorder in that it effects every aspect of your life every day. I hope you are getting the treatment you need.

SilveryMoon Sat 31-May-14 20:44:50

Hmm. I've always thought that's just me, you know, just a few little quirks that make me me.
But it is some kind of anxiety disorder? Maybe I should see the gp then, but what would be left if I took treatment that removed who I am?
It sounds mad when I read all that back, but it's ok. I'm ok. I suspect I'm hard to get along with, or live with.

Celestria Sat 31-May-14 20:44:57

OP don't be worried about seeking help. There is nothing wrong with you other than anxiety which thousands of people have. Some people are predisposed, some aren't. The annoying thing about anxiety is that the more you fight it the more it gets, sometimes you need some help to calm the anxiety so you can start treating yourself.

I am on treatment for anxiety after having a breakdown. Before the treatment I was anxious about the anxiety and nothing anyone said or did changed that. With the anxiety medication it calmed my mind enough to get it under control. I still have moments each day where I feel it could spiral but with meds and self help it passes quickly. Nothing is going to happen to you, anxiety is just thoughts that cause scary physical symptoms that are actually entirely normal and healthy.

Sorry you had a shit day Friday Sir glad the beta blockers helped, it's good to hear that the medication really does help.
Mine isn't usually constant, I have had a really bad week where every day I have had a really bad spot of overwhelming anxiety. Usually I will go for a week or so with out it happening but will always over think things.
I feel like a bit of a fraud going to the gp too, because I could and might be fine by then and for a while after, but I think it's worth going just to help with the times when it's not ok.

I've got a question to the people who already take medication, hope that's ok.
Is it lifelong medication ? Is anxiety like diabetes or epilepsy and if you have it there is no cure, or does therapy eventually hep so you can come off the meds ?
Just sitting here mulling things over, but trying not to overthink them grin
Hope everyone is ok, it's been a lovely sunny day here.

SirChenjin Sun 01-Jun-14 19:30:24

I think you can just take beta blockers as you need them, from what I remember the GP saying (I wasn't in the best frame of mind when I saw her so may not be remembering correctly, but am pretty sure that's what she said).

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 01-Jun-14 19:34:30

No, it can be taken as needed. I haven't really had anxiety like this for about ten years.

Dysfunctional Sun 01-Jun-14 19:34:51

Silverymoon "But it is some kind of anxiety disorder? "

Of course I'm not qualified to answer that but maybe worth looking into and seeing if it rings bells for you. But no need to see GP if it's not affecting the quality of life to the extent that something needs to change.

I agree with a lot of what you say though about the anxiety being such an integral part of your personality its hard to know what you would be like without it.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 01-Jun-14 19:35:42

I've been taking rescue remedy-don't giving a flying fuck if it's a placebo or not, it works a treatwink

That's good to know, thanks. Obviously if you need to take them you need to take them, but I find the idea of taking medication forever a bit daunting.
I have always been anxious and over thought things, this has been a lot worse than normal though. I have only ever been like this once before and that was many years ago.
What does therapy actually do ? Sorry, I know that sounds silly. Will it help stop anxiety completely or does it help you sort yourself out before you spiral out of control ?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now