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Recovering from prenatal depression

(4 Posts)
soapybubbles123 Sun 11-May-14 14:58:15

I've suffered with depression for 10 years but I have never been so ill as I was when I was pregnant. I hated pregnancy, I didn't want to or feel able to be a Mum and I couldn't see anything positive in my future. My parents, brother and DH were incredibly supportive and I had all the NHS and private support available but I still planned how to run away so that no one would find me.

DS is now 8 weeks old and I can truthfully say that I didn't think it was possible to love him so much. I didn't love him straight away, when I first looked at him I burst into tears that were anything but joyful. I stayed in my local maternity unit for a few nights and actually tried to leave him there but found that I couldn't.

I wanted to share this to try and help anyone else suffering see that there might be light at the end of the tunnel. During pregnancy I couldn't believe anyone who said that things might work out and that I would love my baby. I truly just wanted everything to be over.

Things still aren't perfect; I still have panic attacks, days when I feel I just can't cope and I'm still on maximum dose medication but I CAN do this. I CAN be a Mum and I will be the best one I can be, because that is truly what I want even though I felt like it was impossible.

Tired10years Tue 13-May-14 22:18:53

Congrats! Well done, sounds like you have turned a massive corner. Here, have some flowers! thanks

fluffybunnies246 Wed 14-May-14 13:54:17

that's lovely smile

BeingAMummyIsFabulous Wed 14-May-14 19:54:12

You sound to me so positive and sound like you are doing your very best...which as mums is all we can do. When you have a panic attack, try not to dwell on it, try and focus on what you managed to do and what a good mum you are being. I find having a distraction technique my coping mechanism when I feel my anxiety rising and feel myself going into complete panic...doesn't always work, but mostly it does. Good luck to you and well done.

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