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Just putting it somewhere

(105 Posts)
Jecede Mon 21-Apr-14 23:26:47

Tomorrow I'm going to end my life I've been planning it all week. Everyone has said how much better I'm looking and doing, but the calm is all down to me knowing there's an end point where I don't have to go beyond.
I have a plan and a back up plan in case it goes wrong.
This post is incredibly self indulgent, but no one knows and I suppose I needed to put it down somewhere.
It's pointless saying to contact MH services and so on, as I don't actually want to be stopped and besides, you say anything and they don't take it seriously anyway. You can't really mean it if you're telling them.
I've made sure everything is in order. No one suspects a thing. My head's not clouded with pills and for the first time in a long time, everything is clear and calm. I'm just totally at peace with the whole thing.
I've written very clear notes and instructions to everyone who matters or needs them. While there's no way of making it better, I can make it easier.
There's not really much else to say really, is there. The world is not a bad place, I just don't have the energy to do it anymore.

slithytove Tue 29-Apr-14 16:25:43

I'm glad to hear from you Jecede and glad you have taken this step. I really hope things start improving for you soon x

yegodsandlittlefishes Tue 29-Apr-14 16:34:45

Glad you are in a safe place Jecede, and well done for coming here in the first place, going to get the extra help and coming back here to let us know you are alright. I have been thinking of you every day. flowers

Do continue to be a part of Mumsnet,

FriendlyFeatures Tue 29-Apr-14 17:22:26

so pleased you are safe jecede smile

yegodsandlittlefishes Tue 29-Apr-14 17:44:56

You are a good person too, Jecede!

slithytove Mon 05-May-14 13:23:03

How are you getting on?

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