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Help! DS (12) has just taken overdose!

(210 Posts)
BoffinMum Wed 26-Mar-14 17:49:38

I am just leaving London to go home. DS2 just rang me to say he had taken an overdose. AP has managed to get into the bathroom and is sitting with him, I have phoned ambulance etc. Currently on train not knowing what the hell is happening, and very shaky. On my way to meet them at hospital but won't be there for over an hour.

BoffinMum Wed 04-Jun-14 20:11:36

The two flappy teachers at DS's school are kicking off again and one of them was a bit unprofessional today, I think. <sigh>
Vair stressed about it.

BoffinMum Thu 01-May-14 19:54:15

Maryz, he was flapping about at school but then we went in with someone from CAMHS and that settled it and we realised it was actually two teachers in a flap.

BoffinMum Thu 01-May-14 19:53:36

Thank you Zing.

ZingWatermelon Wed 30-Apr-14 23:28:42

good to hear things are improving.
I wish you all the strength and wisdom to deal with this.thanks

Maryz Wed 30-Apr-14 21:51:45

If he is generally happy at school, then obviously leave him there - I saw the post upthread about him being in trouble all the time, and imo there is nothing worse for a child with depression and/or mh issues and/or ASD to be continually in trouble. It stomps the little confidence they have into the ground.

I'm glad things are looking up a bit.

BoffinMum Wed 30-Apr-14 21:33:15

Sorry for radio silence. We've had a bit of progress.

1. He is now a bit more accepting that he is going to have to come up with more strategies to get throughout the day, and he has started reading the leaflets he has been given and coming up with one or two ideas.
2. He got to and from school today without mishap (he is a good pupil once he is there, which helps the day to day situation a lot). I was amazed he went but he survived.
3. FOUND A PART TIME NANNY WITH SOME SPECIAL NEEDS EXPERTISE! SHE HAS ALSO FOSTERED! SHE DID A TRIAL AFTERNOON AND THE KIDS LOVED HER!

Fluffybunnies, thank you for telling me about this. I live in hope.
LadyStark, no inpatient facilities available in this area unless he starts hearing voices etc.
MaryZ, if I take leave I won't ever get into that line of work again, and ironically there aren't many jobs as flexible as this one, so I think I have to keep on trucking, but now there is the prospect of some help from a nanny I think this might be easier.

God I'm so sorry, no advice just letting you know that I'm here, we are all with you x

Maryz Wed 30-Apr-14 17:18:34

Boffin, have you considered just pulling him out of school for a few months? Can you either take unpaid leave or get someone to supervise him? Just give him some time out - he can catch up on education at any stage.

My biggest regret with ds was not just removing him from school (he deliberately got himself expelled in the end). I remember collecting him one day when he'd been in trouble again and he said "if they found a body in the corridor they would arrest me first and call the ambulance later". He was very bitter about the fact that everything was his fault by that stage.

I still think ds would have killed himself if his best friend hadn't sad

bigTillyMint Wed 30-Apr-14 17:12:27

Oh no, that is any parent's worst nightmare. Thinking of you all - I hope the hospital/MH system is able to give you appropriate emergency support.

LadyStark Wed 30-Apr-14 17:09:19

So sorry you are going through this.

Do you have an inpatient option available? Short of taking it in turns to watch your DS 24/7, I'm not sure what options you have remaining to ensure he lacks the opportunity to harm himself.

Boff I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your family. Attempts like this are not selfish, they are desperate. (((hugs)))

fluffybunnies246 Wed 30-Apr-14 16:53:27

BoffinMum hope you, your sons and husband are all ok. You are all having such a hard time- I can't imagine what it must be like for you. My tuppence is just a few words of encouragement. I was a 'highly disturbed' teenager and spent a couple of years as an inpatient, and of course met many other 'highly disturbed' teenagers. Guess what? The vast majority of us came through it, went to uni, have kids, jobs etc. I only know one that didn't make it (an anorexic). I know people are doing well as we are still in touch 20 years later smile I personally am on a downer right now, but I've had hugely happy long periods in my life where I was glad I was not successful in my many unsuccessful attempts (I had 6 months of not even being able to go for a p**s without a member of the nursing staff present in the toilet just in case) Although I still get down (very rarely now, I must add) I cope with it much better. Just because DS reacts like this now does not mean that he will be like this for life. My experiences made me better at my job, and also it meant that when my friends had problems growing up, they turned to me for support as I had been in the abyss myself. Being a teenager is hard, schooldays are meant to be the best of your life, but I think for a lot of people they just aren't. It sounds like you are doing everything right- you sound like a fantastic mum. Just keep on loving him, and don't take it personally- DS will be in such a state that he cannot really evaluate the consequences of his actions on anyone else. As I said, I cannot imagine how hard this is for you, no parent wants their child to be unhappy, but it can get better. My mum didn't do that well at parenting due to her own problems, but I still shudder to think at what I put that poor woman through, and didn't realise at the time.

mummylin Wed 30-Apr-14 13:36:23

I hope you and your ds are ok. What a sad situation, hopefully you will get help to make your ds,s life happier. What a worry for you.

SugarMouse1 Wed 30-Apr-14 00:47:14

I'm sorry you have gone through this.

Remember, it isn't your fault; and he hasn't done this to try and hurt you. Sometimes people feel that they just cannot cope with life.

I'm also sorry to say that with depression, it's hard to get well again, even with lots of support, it ultimately has to be his decision.

ZingWatermelon Tue 29-Apr-14 20:27:19

Boff

are you ok? I so want to help but don't know what to say.

(hugs)

mummylin Tue 29-Apr-14 17:34:45

So sorry that you are having to deal with this. I hope your ds can get the help that you want for him

LastingLight Tue 29-Apr-14 16:53:20

(((HUGS))) I wish I had words of wisdom but I don't... just wanted to let you know that someone is reading and cares.

CinnabarRed Tue 29-Apr-14 10:29:52

Oh Boff, I'm so sorry to read that.

I have no experience with teens, so don't want to proffer advice that might be less than helpful. I just wanted to post so you'd know someone was reading.

How do you know what happened last night? Where is DS2 now?

I think in your place I would be starting to wonder about whether an in-patient stay somewhere might be needed. I know from your earliest posts that provision local to you isn't great, but it might be better than the alternatives.

ZingWatermelon Tue 29-Apr-14 10:27:27

fuck, so sorry to hear sad

I don't know what to say but I just wanted to be here for youthanks

BoffinMum Tue 29-Apr-14 10:16:25

Apparently he let himself out of the house last night when we were asleep and tried to hang himself with a noose.

Where do I even go with this one?

bigTillyMint Fri 04-Apr-14 13:15:35

That is all really positive.

It is useful to know what it is you should be doing to ensure the best possible outcome. And reassuring to know that you are, because you do start to wonder if it is something you have done/are doing.

mistlethrush Fri 04-Apr-14 09:35:59

That sounds really positive Boff. I hope school sort themselves out and stop making matters worse.

BoffinMum Fri 04-Apr-14 09:25:10

The point made to me was that:

If the right medication is given
If good counselling with an experienced counsellor happens regularly
If parenting skills are secure
If parents are affectionate
if parents are healthy
If there is enough money and support at home
If the child's life has proper structure and purpose

The prognosis is good.

Interestingly they have spent a long time looking at our parenting, and we do well on all the important things, such as kindness, friendliness, structure and order at home but not too much, encouragement, setting a good example in terms of alcohol/drugs/holding down jobs/arguing politely/being predictable, having a sense of humour and so on. It was quite reassuring to be given the stamp of approval as parents, as obviously when something like this happens you wonder what you might have done wrong.

So I think key to all of this has been the fact that the psychiatrist knows a lot about the best way to prescribe medication, and that excellent and unconditional counselling has been provided both for DS and us as parents. Which is all the more impressive when you think about the difficulties in fundings CAMHS at the moment.

bigTillyMint Fri 04-Apr-14 08:05:34

Boffin, that is quite reassuring - that they are likely to "grow out of it" - gives us something to hope forsmile

Sonnet Thu 03-Apr-14 21:11:58

Glad it went well, hoping this upward trend continues. Please take care of yourself.

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