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Help! DS (12) has just taken overdose!

(210 Posts)
BoffinMum Wed 26-Mar-14 17:49:38

I am just leaving London to go home. DS2 just rang me to say he had taken an overdose. AP has managed to get into the bathroom and is sitting with him, I have phoned ambulance etc. Currently on train not knowing what the hell is happening, and very shaky. On my way to meet them at hospital but won't be there for over an hour.

BoffinMum Thu 03-Apr-14 12:39:35

i have juts told DH all this. I am trying to decide whether or not to trek into school but I am feeling pretty fragile after the operation so it would take a toll. Maybe DH will have to go by himself.

apermanentheadache Thu 03-Apr-14 12:46:44

I think it sounds like one for your DH. If they're that useless they might also be sexist and more inclined to listen to your DH cos he's a man (sadly). All the PE teachers at my school were neanderthals (sorry, any nice PE teachers out there....)

BoffinMum Thu 03-Apr-14 12:58:00

TBH they know I am a Boffin and know lots of stuff. I don't think gender would come into it.

apermanentheadache Thu 03-Apr-14 13:14:13

That's good. I hope it's a useful meeting and they lay off you for a bit.

Sonnet Thu 03-Apr-14 13:32:23

All the best BoffinMum - a dreadful time for you all xx

scottishmummy Thu 03-Apr-14 14:07:23

Sorry to read your son is distressed,you must be beside yourself

Ask for psych assessment and discharge planning/follow up treatment plan
I see youre with camhs .the home treatment teams are skilled and support families too

I wouldn't sweat the what ifs too much just now that's discussion for another time.

Mental health is a spectrum and it may be a short episodic adolescent illness or it may have longer term impact.with the right medication,support most mental illness is managed safely in community and is largely unproblematic. It doesn't necessarily mean your son has a gloomy prognosis. These are discussions to be had with the psychiatrist

Maintain your regular routine,and being a family.although it all seems so disrupted now

You can request a professionals meeting as a parent,discuss sensitive topics and impact on family.

Plan meeting with schools about support

Useful links
young minds
royal college of psychiatrists
good resources

And best wishes,to your son,and all the family
Make sure you and your partner debrief to each other about this,dont bottle it all up

BoffinMum Thu 03-Apr-14 18:52:12

Thank you ScottishMummy xx

We've been to the school and CAMHS came too and were very helpful indeed. I think we have settled things down there quite a lot and I am not so worried now. In fact it is a big relief.

DS is quite settled today and he's been doing a bit of schoolwork at home, which is good to see.

Donki Thu 03-Apr-14 19:19:23

I hope that that settles things and that School give your DS the support he needs. smile

bigTillyMint Thu 03-Apr-14 20:01:42

Boffin, well done you! Glad to hear you are feeling that it is a bit more settled and that your DS is more settled toosmile

BoffinMum Thu 03-Apr-14 21:06:05

CAMHS psychotherapist said that many kids like DS spent a year on and off being il and getting better, and then were basically OK. I was very encouraged by that as I thought I would have a dependent adult living me who tried to top himself regularly, in years to come.

Sonnet Thu 03-Apr-14 21:11:58

Glad it went well, hoping this upward trend continues. Please take care of yourself.

bigTillyMint Fri 04-Apr-14 08:05:34

Boffin, that is quite reassuring - that they are likely to "grow out of it" - gives us something to hope forsmile

BoffinMum Fri 04-Apr-14 09:25:10

The point made to me was that:

If the right medication is given
If good counselling with an experienced counsellor happens regularly
If parenting skills are secure
If parents are affectionate
if parents are healthy
If there is enough money and support at home
If the child's life has proper structure and purpose

The prognosis is good.

Interestingly they have spent a long time looking at our parenting, and we do well on all the important things, such as kindness, friendliness, structure and order at home but not too much, encouragement, setting a good example in terms of alcohol/drugs/holding down jobs/arguing politely/being predictable, having a sense of humour and so on. It was quite reassuring to be given the stamp of approval as parents, as obviously when something like this happens you wonder what you might have done wrong.

So I think key to all of this has been the fact that the psychiatrist knows a lot about the best way to prescribe medication, and that excellent and unconditional counselling has been provided both for DS and us as parents. Which is all the more impressive when you think about the difficulties in fundings CAMHS at the moment.

mistlethrush Fri 04-Apr-14 09:35:59

That sounds really positive Boff. I hope school sort themselves out and stop making matters worse.

bigTillyMint Fri 04-Apr-14 13:15:35

That is all really positive.

It is useful to know what it is you should be doing to ensure the best possible outcome. And reassuring to know that you are, because you do start to wonder if it is something you have done/are doing.

BoffinMum Tue 29-Apr-14 10:16:25

Apparently he let himself out of the house last night when we were asleep and tried to hang himself with a noose.

Where do I even go with this one?

ZingWatermelon Tue 29-Apr-14 10:27:27

fuck, so sorry to hear sad

I don't know what to say but I just wanted to be here for youthanks

CinnabarRed Tue 29-Apr-14 10:29:52

Oh Boff, I'm so sorry to read that.

I have no experience with teens, so don't want to proffer advice that might be less than helpful. I just wanted to post so you'd know someone was reading.

How do you know what happened last night? Where is DS2 now?

I think in your place I would be starting to wonder about whether an in-patient stay somewhere might be needed. I know from your earliest posts that provision local to you isn't great, but it might be better than the alternatives.

LastingLight Tue 29-Apr-14 16:53:20

(((HUGS))) I wish I had words of wisdom but I don't... just wanted to let you know that someone is reading and cares.

mummylin Tue 29-Apr-14 17:34:45

So sorry that you are having to deal with this. I hope your ds can get the help that you want for him

ZingWatermelon Tue 29-Apr-14 20:27:19

Boff

are you ok? I so want to help but don't know what to say.

(hugs)

SugarMouse1 Wed 30-Apr-14 00:47:14

I'm sorry you have gone through this.

Remember, it isn't your fault; and he hasn't done this to try and hurt you. Sometimes people feel that they just cannot cope with life.

I'm also sorry to say that with depression, it's hard to get well again, even with lots of support, it ultimately has to be his decision.

mummylin Wed 30-Apr-14 13:36:23

I hope you and your ds are ok. What a sad situation, hopefully you will get help to make your ds,s life happier. What a worry for you.

fluffybunnies246 Wed 30-Apr-14 16:53:27

BoffinMum hope you, your sons and husband are all ok. You are all having such a hard time- I can't imagine what it must be like for you. My tuppence is just a few words of encouragement. I was a 'highly disturbed' teenager and spent a couple of years as an inpatient, and of course met many other 'highly disturbed' teenagers. Guess what? The vast majority of us came through it, went to uni, have kids, jobs etc. I only know one that didn't make it (an anorexic). I know people are doing well as we are still in touch 20 years later smile I personally am on a downer right now, but I've had hugely happy long periods in my life where I was glad I was not successful in my many unsuccessful attempts (I had 6 months of not even being able to go for a p**s without a member of the nursing staff present in the toilet just in case) Although I still get down (very rarely now, I must add) I cope with it much better. Just because DS reacts like this now does not mean that he will be like this for life. My experiences made me better at my job, and also it meant that when my friends had problems growing up, they turned to me for support as I had been in the abyss myself. Being a teenager is hard, schooldays are meant to be the best of your life, but I think for a lot of people they just aren't. It sounds like you are doing everything right- you sound like a fantastic mum. Just keep on loving him, and don't take it personally- DS will be in such a state that he cannot really evaluate the consequences of his actions on anyone else. As I said, I cannot imagine how hard this is for you, no parent wants their child to be unhappy, but it can get better. My mum didn't do that well at parenting due to her own problems, but I still shudder to think at what I put that poor woman through, and didn't realise at the time.

Boff I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your family. Attempts like this are not selfish, they are desperate. (((hugs)))

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