Could my mental health history mean I'd lose my kids?

[vanguard96]

Hi there ladies, my partner and I are talking about ttc and I'm really worried that if I do get pregnant, my mental health history could mean I'd have SS involved from day one and even lose my baby the moment it's born. I've been in a psych ward for 4 days in the past, and what's concerning me most is the fact I was picked up on a 136 section by the police after trying to kill myself and refusing help from the ambulance people. I've never been outwardly violent, though I did go through a phase of struggling with violent fantasies in my head (though my doc and the hospital told me I wasn't a risk to others, it was just an atypical manifestation of OCD). I've also struggled with extreme tokophobia in the past.

I'm really, really worried that if I did get pregnant, I'd have the SS turn up at the labor ward and lose my baby. I've seen too many horror stories like that poor woman with the forced cesarean recently to feel safe. I'm in a much, much better place now and I know I'd be a brilliant mum, but I'm so scared! I'm also worried that if I got PND and spoke to my doc about it, they'd use my previous history to argue that I'm too unwell to have my baby.

Has anyone been sectioned and gone onto have kids? Can anyone tell me what to expect?

[dontrunwithscissors]

I haven't been sectioned, but I have been in hospital since my youngest was born. (No MH problems until I had PND after my youngest was born aand then diagnosed bipolar.) I was in hospital just recently. Nobody's ever questioned my ability as a mother--they've tended to say how well I'm doing. I know that it is something they have to consider, but from what you've written I very much doubt that SS would even take a look at you. I think the important thing is that you're working with services

There are perinatal pdocs who specialise in maternal MH--you could ask for a referral to help plan medication etc.

[SilverStars]

Mental health issues does not mean you will lose your children. All health practitioners from gp's, nurses to midwives risk assess their patients and will contact appropriate agencies if concerned, not just MH practitioners of that helps.

Some people wait until their MH is more stable for ttc, as being a parent is demanding. Others cannot due to age, circumstances etc.

Support is there for people with severe MH conditions to ensure medication is appropriate and support is in place. May be worth thinking through what you would do with a young child if you had a relapse - do you have a partner who can take time off work, family to help out? If you can work through those things and reassure yourself that should help. Or pay for daily childcare if need to? Services want to ensure you and your child have support.

Why not talk through your concerns with a health practitioner before you ttc to reassure you?

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

I've been detained under a 136 and hospitalised and losing the children has never ever been mooted.

[LovelyBath]

I had mental health issues in the past and found the midwife talked about it at the initial appointment when pregnant. The main concern seemed to be keeping an eye out for ante- or post-natal depression (sometimes due in part to hormones) as i suppose then they can support you or pick up signs early.

You sound very thoughtful and insightful and i expect if you approach it with that in mind, as in you are looking for support if any health problems arise, I hope that will be helpful to you.

[LovelyBath]

Yes as Silverstars said good people to talk to would be your midwife and health visitor. They were helpful I found and have heard everything before. I asked to be referred to a group for new mums with PND which they helped me with. I think your attitude can help as in you are looking for support if needed. I do understand your concerns though regarding cases as you mentioned. hopefully those are not usual.

[LovelyBath]

Just read again your concern about PND- this is something they are used to and should be very supportive of. HTH.