COULD IT BE PND BABY 18MTHS OLD help iam new

[madhouse2]

HI just found this site and after some advice i have 2 kids d nearly 5 s 18mths i have a problem with my d i feel since my sons birth i don't seem to have as much patience and generally don't know how to be with her
iam fine when dh is there really jolly and positive but on my own with her i get sarcastic and cross at the slightest thing
i know all the positive praise etc but find it doesn't come naturally with her
I had an awful 2nd pregnancy in hospital for 6 wks so i only saw her for 1 hr a day with my mum
previously we had a great relationship

HELP

[moyasmum]

Really feel for you madhouse, in spite of really doing your best, your dd is pushing your buttons. Maybe you are anxious about the baby and see dd as a hinderance subconcsiencely,(sounds creul but possible-little kids dont help as much as insist you look at them)the difficulty with the baby could be just another layer on top.
If you can ,can you take a step back, and have your mum round with you more to take the pressure off? Its a transitional thing ,but maybe helpful. The worse thing is just to keep it unresolved and just between you and your daughter. Take care.

[youknowwhat]

madhouse2, I had a similar reaction with DS1 after the birth of DS2 and I haven't had any problem during the pregnancy/birth of DS2!!
What helped me was to take the very concious decision to praise DS1 during the day and to look at what he was doing right. I know you already know about it - and I did too - but the trick was to actually force myself to do it.
What about having one 1/2 day with her on her own doing something that you both enjoy ? Perhaps going to the swimming pool, to the park ? so that you can start enjoying each other company again - and without your ds as I am sure she must have resented his arrival and your stay at the hospital (and therefore play up, be more difficult than she previously was...)
I am sure you will find a way to start enjoying your dd again. It's not as if you never had a good relation. The only thing is that when you want to change your attitude and hers, it is taking time. Well it took us, me and ds1, about 6 months to really be happy and confortable BUT the first improvements WERE IMMEDIATE.
Good luck!

[madhouse2]

thanks for the support
dd has gone away today with my sister for 3 days and iam really missing her when shes here though i wish she would leave me alone
she really is a good girl but i worry how my moods - pushing her away are effecting her psycologically i don't sleep for thinking i shouldn't have said that or behaved like that
shes desperate to please me and looks scared at times (i have never smacked her!!)
she says things snappy sometimes and iknow it how i talk to her at times for no reason
why do i behave like this i love so much and feel guilty just don't know how to show her
is it depression would a d help

[youknowwhat]

I am normally the one to advocate ad so yes it would be worth giving it a go.
However, I would also try to talk with someone about your ds birth, how you felt at the time and ho you feel now. It is vey therapeutic and might be enough to lift your sipits! - Well it worked for me -
Have a word with your gp AND your hv about it.
Good luck

[madhouse2]

I plucked up the courage to ring h.v today was could to get it off my chest she will cb to arrange appointment but thinks its pnd feel relieved but ashamed like ive let my secret out of the bag
i can cope with the everyday things just struggle with dd as mentioned previously and worry how iam effecting her when i go on at her
also things aren't right with dh this time last yr i was at solicitors for a divorce cause of his drinking but he stopped so i gave i another go but he has stared again (not as bad ) but iam waiting for the nightmare to begin it like its all hes interested in and can't stop til its all gone he says it my problem not his probably true but hes put me through hell and i din't want to go back there

SORRY WENT OFF ON ONE THEN!!