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Is counselling always hard?

(8 Posts)
Judyandherdreamofhorses Tue 18-Mar-14 07:04:45

Stupid question! Does it remain emotionally draining or does it get better/ easier (or worse?).

I had my first session last night following an introductory meeting last week. There is a lot more we're going to have to talk about than I first thought when I made the appointment (which was to find help with my relationship with my four year old DD). The therapist is very nice and I understand what we are doing.

I feel very tired and weepy today.

On the other hand, I feel very positive and loving towards DD.

Kittymalinky Tue 18-Mar-14 07:59:52

Yes it gets easier. I'm on my second round of intense therapy (it has been said this won't be my last but continual counselling isn't a great idea)

When I first started I found it very hard, I was dealing with all my shit plus trying to work out how to open up and talk effectively so I could get the most out of it all. It was very draining.

Now I still find it hard but in a more mentally challenging way rest her than emotionally draining. Oddly I enjoy my sessions now, I have learnt how to open up and think in a more effective way and I leave feeling much lighter.

Sometimes I'll have a tough session but I leave with a 'wow I really worked hard' feeling now. It feels a bit like I do when I go to the gym, I dread it before but after feel great, like I've had a good work out. Counselling is like this for my mind now.

I am 6 years down the line though (2 years therapy, 3 1/2 off and now 6 months into new counsellor)

I hope that rambling makes sense smile

LastingLight Tue 18-Mar-14 10:42:39

Depending on what you dealt with in a session you will feel better or worse afterwards. In general though it gets easier as you get to know and trust your therapist, and understand how the process works.

Judyandherdreamofhorses Tue 18-Mar-14 19:33:42

Thanks, both of you.

I felt a bit spacey and odd all day, but beginning to feel a bit more normal now. A lot to take in, think about, act on etc.

I think I'm dealing with the easier stuff first, so no idea how bad it's going to get.

Another thing. Is it wrong of me not to want to talk to DH about any of it? He asked last night - only in a concerned 'What did you talk about?' kind of way. I just said I was too tired to think about it, which was true, but I don't know if I should talk about it more. Or maybe as I get better at opening up I'll want to? It's nothing he doesn't know anyway.

Kittymalinky Tue 18-Mar-14 20:46:01

No that's totally normal. I don't tell anyone what I've talked about, no need to.

My DH asked once, I told him I didn't want to talk about it and I doubt he'd want to hear the details. He's not asked again.

My DM sometimes probes with a 'how was counselling?' 'Did you talk about anything interesting?' Which is met with very short answers, almond the lines of 'fine thanks, talked about all sorts' or 'nothing interesting'

You don't need to tell anyone if you don't want to. Maybe explain to your DH that it helps being able to talk about some things just in that room then leave them there.

Judyandherdreamofhorses Tue 18-Mar-14 20:50:14

Thanks. I probably won't tell my mum I'm doing it. I might tell her when I'm finished (if ever!).

That's another thing. I'm feeling upset about feeling that the counsellor is criticising my mum. She's not, it's my perception of what she's saying, or getting me to think about. I don't want to change my feelings (positive!) about my mum.

LastingLight Wed 19-Mar-14 06:32:20

You need to share your feelings around criticism of your mum with the counselor.

Judyandherdreamofhorses Tue 25-Mar-14 18:07:35

Last night's was a bit easier, but building up to some harder stuff. I've got some writing 'homework' this week - writing a letter to someone who I can't speak to. Don't know when I'll be able to/ want to do it.

It is helping. It will help. I'm feeling anxious though about some stuff I will end up talking to her about that I didn't expect to. I suppose I don't have to do that yet.

How do counsellors remember all the stuff you tell them?!

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