DS, mid twenties, hasn't given sign of life for a very long time. We know he was in hospital, attempted suicide, was/is seriously ill with MH issues. Background of aggression, drugs, difficulties adjusting and unresolved grief after grandparents died. Very recently, he's come back into our lives. No notice - just turned up.
Young DCs still scared of him and, tbh, so am I. I was a target for his aggression many times.
Now says he wants to leave where he is and when when he's come down our way, he looks, frankly, awful. As if sleeping rough. He comes unexpected. DH and I see him locally but he can't come home. At least not just yet.
It is disruptive but, especially. heart breaking to see him as he is now and to hear really only monosyllabic sounds from him. He has a MH worker where he lives but before we even contemplate getting him closer to home (he's clearly very homesick after all this time), we'd need to know something about his most recent diagnosis, what kind of support he's getting etc.
When I phoned the MH centre he's under, I got a very cold, shirty response from the duty worker. Said the info I could receive was 'restricted' as per DS' wishes. We advised DS to lift that restriction but he's so not with it, that I don't think it sunk in. Will be speaking to his actual case worker next week but don't expect much more.
To make things worse, the person he's living with (my ex) has put a block on our phone and either puts the phone down on us when we phone from a mobile or is icy cold and unhelpful. We've had to ask the police to be intermediaries (ie when DS is missing at night) which is madness. Doesn't help when the 'adults' should be sharing information, talking to each other, for DS's sake.
We're dealing with one homesick, lonely young man but without fact and support, we don't know how to help him. We don't know what kind of accommodation to be looking for and if he's ready to work or train. THe MH people in our area, with whom he had contact in the past, aren't even responding to emails requesting that, in the event of DS coming this way, they liaise with the services where he is now. I'm anxious, scared, isolated and feel utterly helpless. Any thoughts or suggestions would be welcome. I'm sorry this is so long.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.
Mental health
How to help DS, twenties, when no-one's talking to us
6 replies
Treasa24 · 15/03/2014 23:56
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.