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Ocd cheating thoughts still going on after had my baby

(10 Posts)
Lyndz123 Fri 14-Mar-14 18:51:06

Well these thoughts have been going on since my 12 weeks dating scan. Before then the thought never crossed my mind. I've convinced myself that i cheated on my husband on our wedding night. We were both really drunk and both can hardly remember a lot of the night. I remember bits and bobs through the night and remember leaving the reception and getting a taxi to the hotel. There is also photos of us together all through the night but i still keep thinking i must have cheated and our baby is not his. 2 weeks after the wedding i found out i was pregnant. We were over the moon and
the thought never entered my mind until we went for our scan and because of the date the baby measured my husband jokingly said are you sure the baby is mine and from then on i've been sick with guilt. Basically the scan dated me from the 27th april which would mean i ovulated on the 11th may?! which was our wedding night so i've convinced myself that i went off and had sex with my husbands friend (he tried it on with me a few years ago and i told my husband about it) i had the baby 4 weeks ago which was amazing but then the thoughts came back a few days ago. She looks just like my husband even loads of people have said she is his double but i'm still convincing myself that he isn't the father. I feel sick with guilt. Please help me! Would i remember having sex even being so drunk? I keep telling myself i'd have been distraught afterwards of i did

I think you should talk to your HV and your GP about getting some counselling or support. It is possible that these thoughts are being made worse if you have postnatal depression, and you need real life support to work your way through them.
Have your spoken to your DH about how you are feeling and the reason why you are upset?

Lyndz123 Fri 14-Mar-14 19:24:46

I'm looking into getting some help. I havent told my DH about these thoughts as he wouldnt understand

In which case, I'd definitely have a chat with a HV.
I'm glad you are already looking into getting help.

Lyndz123 Fri 14-Mar-14 19:36:33

Thank you

vichill Fri 14-Mar-14 19:48:58

I got really drunk on a night out at 3 days pregnant (didn't know I was), and when I found out I was pregnant I considered all sorts of scenarios of how the baby was conceived on that night and I must've blacked out not to remember my cheating/getting assaulted etc. I even thought the baby might be black when I was in labour!

18 mths later I know beyond doubt I didn't do anything and she is ours.

I found the thoughts gradually tapered off a few months after she was born. too busy to concentrate on such silliness.

how strange it's a thing? good luck op.

Lyndz123 Fri 14-Mar-14 21:29:59

Its because i know most people ovulate 2 weeks after the lmp. Even though my lmp was on the 24th april which was 3 days earlier than scan dated me. So when she said i was dated from the 27th i started thinking i must have cheated and like you said blacked out from being so drunk. I still cant think straight and my baby is here. I feel like these thoughts will be in my head forever and i'll have to live with this guilt

vichill Fri 14-Mar-14 22:26:48

I think you'll be ok. It really is illogical but I know how powerful the obsessive thoughts can be.

For me it probably stemmed from my low self esteem. my psyche just couldn't be happy for me and so started to suggest I must certainly done something shitty. sad

it took a few months but the thoughts did stop and now I'm bemused more than anything at how I convinced myself.

I'm going to Google to find others...

My scan for DC2 dated me as being one week later than the date I was working to. Given that DC2 was conceived via ivf, I knew exactly which day the eggs were collected, when conception happened and when the blastocyst was put back.
The hospital still insisted their date was right. Please don't put too much importance on hospital scan dates - they are not an exact science at all.

Lyndz123 Sun 16-Mar-14 22:20:13

Do you think i'm just being paranoid? I just keep thinking that i could have had sex with someone else and not remember because i was so drunk. But the thoughts never appeared until after my dating scan 10 weeks after i found out i was pregnant. Surely i'd have remember having sex woth someone else? I'd have been distraught after doing it especially on my wedding night. I just want someone to tell me i'm being daft and i never cheated and my baby is my husbands. She is his double and loads of people have commented on on how alike they are but i still cant shake the thoughts

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