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One moment I'm fine, then I have sudden crises.

(5 Posts)
kim147 Wed 12-Mar-14 22:52:31

Nothing I can do about it. I am waiting for something really important to happen but I have to wait. I am desperate for this to happen. Sometimes I just get in a real crisis. I regret decisions made, not made and start thinking self harm thoughts. I've almost acted on them once.

I'm on sertraline. That helped slow down the thoughts but they've come back more and more. I am seeing the CPN for the first time.

A friend of mine suggested mindfullness and also tapping when I get these thoughts. I know I can't change the past and I know I have to wait but it's difficult. Really difficult.

Mogz Thu 13-Mar-14 12:25:03

Hey Kim, self harm is a rotten beast, almost addictive in nature and so hard to ignore. You're doing really well by not giving in to it, distraction is the key, I find number puzzles like sudoku or warm baths or baking helps, anything that is immersive and you can lose yourself in for a bit. Having to wait for something is stressful, do you have a date set for when it's going to happen? If so would it help to have a count down so you can see it getting nearer or would that make it feel like it was still too far away?

kim147 Thu 13-Mar-14 12:32:21

I have no date set and no control over it. It's out of my hands. Sometimes these feelings are so so strong and so hard to ignore. I have an appointment with the team "in charge of me" hopefully soon and somehow I need them to know how I feel as I feel no one is listening to me and my needs.

Mogz Sat 15-Mar-14 09:08:36

Oh I'm sorry, that must be so hard. Hopefully a chat with your team will help. Do you find that they aren't listening because you can't get your points across or because they don't feel they are valid concerns?

kim147 Tue 18-Mar-14 13:29:24

Had my first meeting with CPN today. It was good to talk and she identified some of the real issues I have. I am so lucky I have been able to start my self employment which is working well. If I didn't have that, I'm not sure where I would be.

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