I wonder if ADs would help with this?

[mmittens]

Having read alot of the posts on here, i am wondering if antidepressants would help me with my situation. I often feel very anxious and this manifests itself in not beng able to let go of arguments, worrying and thinking and churning things over endlessly and pushing dh so far that sometimes he completely loses his temper with me - shouting and sometimes swearing at me because i have been so infuriating and nasty. It's a vicious circle as when he loses his temper do this, i then also end up more anxious. Sometimes the more patient he is with me the more i push him. i wouldn't say i feel depressed most of the time, it's more a feeling of being on the edge - while everything is going well, i'm generally fine, although still thinking sometimes incessantly. However when something goes wrong it's the end and sometimes wish i could go to sleep and never wake up. I really don't want to carry on like this especailly now we have a baby and i wonder if ADs might help? I'd be really grateful if anyone could let me know what they thought. Thanks

[madmarchingforfreedomhare]

It sounds as though they might. I think you need to see your GP though.

[mmittens]

yes thunk you're right about seeing gp - i'm just a bit worried as i know sometimes they hand out ad s when they're not necessary. i've even got to the stage where i blame dh for my anxiety because his temper makes it worse. i've got it into my head that because of how i feel, he should always be gentle with me and never get angry with me. maybe i'm expecting too much?

[mandaj]

trouble is once you start taking ad's you mayu never get off them. You sound insecure (don't mean any offence), maybe look at things from another perspective, and try to be positive. Consciousley stop an argument, say sorry even if you want to continue, but seeing things turn nasty, say sorry and when you've both calmed down try the discussion again.

[madmarchingforfreedomhare]

Im sure that if you tell your GP about your concerns and explain your situation he will help you make the right decision. I think its pretty normal to feel anxious about taking ADs.

[madmarchingforfreedomhare]

How old is your baby?

[mmittens]

that's what worries me that if i start ads i may never get off them. the trouble is i've tried for so long to try to be rational when i get in a state but it hardly ever works. i know that maybe if my dh was more patient with me and didn't lose his temoer, it may help. but when i think of what i can be like, i'm not really surprised he gets angry with me. i just want things to change as if it weren't for this i'd have a wonderful life - everything else is good

[WigWamBam]

You will get off them. They aren't addictive, and you won't be put on them indefinitely. They simply give you a bit of breathing space to start to enable you to function normally, you'll probably be on them for a couple of months after you feel better - they just kick-start your brain's serotonin uptake, and once that happens your brain starts to do it for itself. You may find you have periods later on when you'll need them again, but again they will be short term periods. I think you may be confusing ads with things like Valium - modern ads (SSRIS) are nothing like the old-fashioned tranquillisers that housewives used to become addicted to.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying ads, and you know that. If they don't work the GP may be able to recommend another form of treatment or some counselling.

[madmarchingforfreedomhare]

It is totally possible to come off ADs. Most people who take them do, some take them for as little as 6 months just until things even themselves out.

Maybe ADs arent necessarily the right thing. Your GP will be about to tell you about different ways to manage your anxiety.

Have you discussed things with your HV?

[Enid]

why should you take ads if your husband has a bad temper?

[mmittens]

i wouldn't be taking them just because my dh has a bad temper - it would be to try to remove some of my anxiety which makes me behave in a irrational way. i wonder whetehr i should just try again myself without the ad's as i'm really reluctant to take them

[madmarchingforfreedomhare]

It sounds as though you have been trying already mmittens. Just make an appointment and go for a chat. What does your DH think?

[WigWamBam]

Sounds as if you've been trying for a long time - and it hasn't worked. It's time to try something else, otherwise you'll carry on going around in the same circles and making life difficult and unpleasant for yourself and your partner. Judging by your other posts (I'm assuming you're the poster I think you are - apologies if you're not) this has reached a critical stage and it is important for the sake of your health and your marriage that you do something about this.

There is nothing wrong with ads. If you have a headache, you take paracetamol without questioning it. If you have diabetes you take insulin without questioning it. If you break your leg you have it plastered without questioning it. Why should ads be any different simply because they treat a mental health condition rather than a physical one? Mental health problems are just as real as physical ones, and they can (and do) respond well to treatment, either medical or counselling.

[mmittens]

yes i have posted before , just wanted some more opinions i suppose. I had pretty much convinced myself that it's worth giving the ads a try but still worried about them. then that post which said "why should i take ads because my dh has a bad temper" has made me question it more. also if we decise we want another baby i wouldn't want to be on ads then

[mmittens]

what i need to do seems so easy when i'm thinking rationally, when i'm upset/angry i just need to make my point - and them move on, instead of going on & on & on until dh explodes. But despite telling myself this, i still can't do it alot of the time - wish i knew why

[WigWamBam]

You won't be taking ads to stop your dh having a bad temper. You'll be taking them to stop you from goading and goading him, and harping on about something all day until he responds with anget.


They could stop you from winding yourself up over the slightest little thing and causing an argument. They could could allow you to step back and see just how inappropriate your reactions to some of the things your dh has done are.

I feel as if I'm banging my head against a brick wall, you keep coming back to the same old things over and over again. I know it's hard to accept that you may need help for a mental health issue, but when it's threatening your marriage that you're banging on for days on end about the smallest little thing, and waking your dh up when he's asleep just so that you can start on him again, isn't it worth trying?

[mmittens]

wigwambam, i know you're right. I will got to gp an dsee waht she says - the last thing i want is to destroy my marriage

[festiveface]

i have been asking nmyself the same thing for a long time now. with me, the anxiety is me worrying about things in an ott way which makes me scared of ...well everything at times and when i get really anxious i don't want dh to go out of a night with friends or even to work as he's a long distance driver and i don't want to be left alone. i then get really fed up at how pathetic i am being etc

let us know how you go on. i think i will be going to the doctor too.

[madmarchingforfreedomhare]

Go on, make that appointment. Its the start of better things to come . Let us know how you go on.

[mmittens]

Well i've got an appt later today so we'll see how it goes.........

[mmittens]

went to see gp and she said either prozac or sertraline (lustral) would be best if i may need to take them when pregnant. She's going to let me know which one is best. Any one else taken either of these for anxiety? If so what side effects did you have and was it easy to come off? Also anyone taken either of these when pg?

[mmittens]

Anyone there?

[LaidbackinAsia]

Hi mittens. Just a few thoughts about your situation. Your symptoms sound more like anxiety than depression - although the two can sometimes be linked. Anti-depressants can be helpful in some situations but are not the 'cure all panacea' that they are often heralded as. Often there are underlying issues that contribute to both anxiety and depression. Maybe you could see if your GP could refer you to the practice counsellor to see what is underpinning your anxiety (buy all means give the meds a try too). A Cognitive Behavioural Therapist or a counsellor who knows how to use this model might also help you to challenge some of the negative thoughts you hold about yourself ? Also Relate might be useful if you and your husband are repeatedly triggering each other ? Just some ideas!

[mmittens]

yes definately more anxiety than depression. have tried counselling a few times before but was pretty useless. anyone used either sertraline or prozac for anxiety? did it work & was it easy to stop? also what about using either of them when pg?