I'm sorry, this is long but I hope I've made it readable. Pease help me if you can. I've posted in children's mental health but thought there might be more knowledge/traffic here. I utterly believe in the power of EMDR but am not sure that it's being properly applied in this case and would love your comments. I'm trying not to worry but it doesn't seem right to me.
DS1 (11) is being treated with EMDR for his experience of violent bullying at school.
His first session was on Wednesday, and whilst I've done some reading on the subject of EMDR, I don't know whether what I witnessed was a competent application. The practitioner, who I did not get to choose, only had her training last week and I suspect DS1 was her first post-qualification patient.
She showed him what it was like to try to follow her fingers moving side to side, and also gave him the opportunity to use a pair of bongo drums to drum with his own hands. She let him choose which he preferred and he went for the drums because the finger following made him dizzy (not surprising as he is still suffering from a head injury he got about 7 weeks ago which gave him a concussion and she knows all about).
Does anyone know whether there is an element of suggestion in the technique of EMDR? The reason I ask is that DS1 was initially asked to rate himself on a scale of 0-10 (not at all upset - extremely upset) when thinking about his 'event'. He rated himself at 7.
After the first group of two or three 30 second treatment periods with the drums he was asked again and this time rated himself at 5. The practitioner then told him that this was good and that really she wanted the number to be 2 or less as then "the bad memory tends to stay put away".
She then went on to do a few more periods of thought and movement, not with the drums but finger following as he was struggling to drum with the tremor he experiences as a part of the concussion after effects. (He is being treated by a physiotherapist for this tremor on the recommendation of a child neurologist.) The EMDR practitioner then asked for a final rating.
A bit of extra information. Each time DS1 was asked where he was now he mostly came up with a good memory, family time, picnics, fishing and sailing which he loves, other occasions he has thoroughly enjoyed. Only a couple of times did he refer to the 'event'.
His final vote of the session was a 3.
It seemed to me that the practitioners comments about a score of 2 was leading him to give her a number that would be 'right' and please her. He didn't seem to be thinking about the event most of the time at all. She has given neither of us any indication of what is considered successful treatment. As far as I know, when he says 2 he gets discharged.
Please, does anyone have any experience or knowledge in this area? I'm out of my depth but I do believe that EMDR can be a very effective treatment for trauma and anxiety. Is DS1 getting good EMDR? It doesn't seem so to me.
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.
Mental health
EMDR - is this done right or is it not being done at all? Help, worried mum.
Homebird8 · 24/01/2014 06:26
Good luck..it must be really tough to see your son struggling so much. I'm glad he's getting support and hope you are looking after yourself too
It is hard to see all the emotion going across DS1's face as he works with his therapist but this time I'm pleased to report a real breakthrough. It was if she and he seemed to click today and I could see healing happening right in front of me. I was right I think in that something was just not quite right last time they met, but today it was much better.
Thank you so much for your insight and support. The last thing he needs is me feeling unsure of his care. I need to be a rock for him. This is an amazing community of people with such broad experience between them that I could call out and find such help. 
I'm glad he had a better session 
hopefully the therapist was just finding her feet a little last time. Some sessions I had left me feeling really frustrated as they seemed pointless and didn't really go anywhere but then others really seemed to help.
Also my therapist did a lot of 'resourcing' with me..visualising a team of wise and kind people helping me, developing a safe place and a light stream and its those kind of things that you could be doing at home with him if he is wobbly to help him feel safe and calm.
The light stream stuff makes sense awaywego. I was given a sheet showing me what to do/say at DS1's last treatment and we're starting to work with it at home.
You're right CharlieBoo, it's almost miraculous when you see it working before your very eyes. He was so tired afterwards though and really needed a good break and some relaxation time for the remainder of the day.
The hardest thing for me is hearing snapshots of his memories, things I've never heard before. Hearing his poor fragile little self being brave enough to voice them. It's worth it to hear the amazing changes though, from expressions of feeling 'worthless' and 'no good at anything' turning to him feeling 'valuable' and that his 'best is always good enough'. And hearing him say that the worst moments he could come up with at the beginning of the session he didn't really care much about anymore.
Just in case anyone is still watching this thread I'd like to report a huge change in my DS1. He has been meeting real life trigger situations and just says he's 'over it'. EMDR is great. Thank you so much to those of you who gave me such support as we went through the early days.
Thank you again, both of you. Even DH is considering finding an adult EMDR practitioner to help him deal with something which happened in his childhood and now stops him doing something very ordinary in his adult life. It almost seems like a magic wand around here. Actually, it could probably be achieved with one 
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.