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how do we carry on?????

(9 Posts)

I'm a carer for my dd who is 20, she has asd and ptsd, anxiety, depression, personality disorder, and other stuff....I'm with her 24/7 as social worker and mental health team say she's high risk suicide....we have asked for help and treatment for my dd but keep getting refused, excuse is dd can't have treatment from mental health services as she has asd, been to the gp who says it's a mums job to get her better not anyone elses, just get on with it. tried social services but they don't seem to give a sh*t. I have been up now for 72hrs as she's not sleeping and all she keeps saying is she wants to die, I have complained to pals etc, the outcome of this is we don't offer the services your dd needs, maybe in the next couple of years we might but can't promise anything due to cuts. I have also tried a solicitor, they say nhs can refuse treatment to anyone, it's not discrimination, nice guidelines state what treatment my dd should be receiving. I'm so tired she's been trying to get hold of knifes and meds all night, how do we carry on without help?

selfdestructivelady Wed 22-Jan-14 09:08:15

Oh hunny have a unmnetly hug. I have a dd who is four with asd and I couldn't not reply. The way your being treated is disgraceful. No advice sorry just a hand to hold.

thanks, I need a hug and a cry, I feel like my world is crashing down around me, trying to take care of my dd and trying to support dp through cancer for second time in a year, dd just broke down saying her illness caused dp cancer, can't get her to understand it's not her fault, all I'm doing is making things worse.

selfdestructivelady Wed 22-Jan-14 09:23:49

sad so sorry to hear all that you've got it rough ATM but I hope both your dh and dd make a speedy recovery. Is your dd on any meds at all?

she's on sertraline, and supposed to be on melatonin for sleep, but gp can't do melatonin prescription, mental health services can do it but as they are refusing to treat dd she can't get her sleep meds, they say dd isn't under there care so can't prescribe

selfdestructivelady Wed 22-Jan-14 09:31:11

I see is the sertraline helping at all?

it helped for a few months then stopped working, so they doubled the dose, now it's not working again, she's on 150 now, tried lots of other meds but some made her worse,

selfdestructivelady Wed 22-Jan-14 09:56:11

I see I'm so sorry to hear that I really have no advice sorry hopefully someone more knowledgeable will be along shortly.

chocaholic73 Wed 22-Jan-14 11:27:25

I really feel for you. My DD has most of what your DD has, except she's not actually suicidal (so far). She is 17 and still under child and adolescent mental health services until the end of the year and we are struggling to get adequate support and feel totally consumed by her needs and the process. I have recently been having counselling myself and something the counsellor has been helping me to see is that if you hold everything together, "they" (the services) will continue to let you do it. No one seems to look at the bigger picture - the holistic view - and the impact on the whole family. Whilst your DDs issues obviously haven't caused your DP's illness, it won't help him or you either. No one considers what happens if you are unable to cope any more. Your GP sounds very unsupportive - is there any possibility of changing to a different one in the same practice or a different practice? GPs can prescribe melatonin - my elder DD who has separate unrelated health issues, has been on it since she was 16 after it was recommended by a paediatrician. It is now fully licensed for use in over 55s, and this seems to have had the effect of loosening up its availability for younger people. You being told that the mental health services can't treat your DD because she is ASD makes no sense and is crazy. A lot of people on the Autistic Spectrum have mental health issues. Have you talked to any of the helplines of the National Autistic Society or mental health charities (Mind, Sane etc) about this? They also have legal people who may be able to advise. Also, your DD is still under 25 and (although I am unclear about this), I think Local Authorities do have a duty of care to vulnerable young adults.

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