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'Comparison is the thief of joy'

(4 Posts)
lettucelamp Mon 13-Jan-14 14:35:34

Not sure if this is the right place to put this, but I couldn't decide, so oh well, here it goes.

I came across the quote 'comparison is the thief of joy' on a quote on Pinterest a few weeks ago, and haven't been able to get it out of my head since.

I've always been a grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side kind of person, and constantly filled with "if only XX was different, I'd be truly happy" kind of thoughts, but I realise that in general I can talk myself around. I've also suffered with depression and low level anxiety on and off throughout my life.

That said, I've managed to find a fairly happy medium with my life, have a lovely DH and after a bit of a crappy year or two (Dad died suddenly, not being able to get pregnant, money a bit tight, ongoing drama with inlaws, etc) things are levelling out a bit at the moment (grief not as raw, taking a break from TTC, slightly more comfortable financially, inlaw drama finally resolved).

Yet, one thing that continues to be a source of stress and negativity and if I'm honest unhappiness is my addiction to certain websites. I check instagram and facebook constantly. I read a dozen blogs daily. My iphone is constantly in my hand. But my main problem is blogs. All the blogs that I read paint a picture of this perfect, happy life where it's all rainbows and unicorns and I feel like it's seriously starting to affect me. I look at these peoples lives and think "why isn't my life like that?". They make me question everything. I'm comparing myself to these women constantly, and feeling like I'm coming up short. Some of the main blogs I read are lovetaza.com, bleubirdblog.com, junkaholique.com, fitnessista.com. Also Pinterest is becoming a major problem too. I know they only portray a small, careful, maybe unrealistic slice of their life. But comparing myself to them is literally making me unhappy. And the amount of time that I spend on these websites is crazy. I'd literally have about 2-3 hours + a day spare time if I could get off them.

I know I need to change my passwords on instagram, facebook and pinterest (ideally getting DH to do it for me so I don't know them - can't bare to delete them altogether just yet) and see if there is a way to block access to certain websites.

I suppose I'm posting here for some support really, to know if anyone else has been in similar situations or what would you do if it were you?

Thanks for reading!

PS: I realise the irony of asking for help for this kind of thing on a forum, and finding the quote that triggered it on Pinterest grin

Hi lettuce I agree with that quote! I have to consciously work hard not to compare myself (let along get into the world of blogs) as it doesn't help my mental health... some of the threads on here can be challenging enough! I also have a very small number of facebook friends, and have unfriended people who appear too perfect. It's just not worth it!

Logistically you can prob block certain websites.

Do you have any hobbies/interests that you don't currently have time to do? Or have you thought about volunteering? Maybe if you found an alternative use for your time currently online that might help?

Good luck!

lettucelamp Mon 13-Jan-14 14:52:59

Yes I do have quite a few hobbies at the moment, but don't find enough time for them, that is one of the big draws of doing this. I only have a relatively small number of friends on facebook too but to be honest it's not the comparison with them, it's the compulsively checking for updates! Thank you for responding smile

BaconAndAvocado Mon 13-Jan-14 23:20:21

Hi lettuce yes! I too saw that quote on Pinterest and thought it was great. I've quoted it a few times since.

At the risk of sounding smug I probably feel the exact opposite to you!

I'm not on Facebook, I don't blog, tweet etc. it sounds like you don't get anything positive from the above and, to me, life's just too short to be constantly checking up on someone else's life/virtual life hmm

From what I know of Facebook and the like, a lot,of it is about presenting a version of,yourself, so don't feel inadequate or compare yourself negatively as a lot of it is complete fabrication/exaggeration.

My motto has generally been (in the spirit of Pinterest!) "life is about wanting what you've got, not getting what you want".

It sounds like you have had some shitty times, haven't we all, but Comparison is definitely the thief of joy, so don't do it!

All that said, I am developing an unhealthy addiction to Candy Crush. Bloody sad smile

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